wrap your heads around this if you can

I dare ya.

I'm in a car (suv, if you must)
cruising through the desert
in the middle of nowhere
connected to the internet.
yeah.
no, scratch that---
better make it a
FUCK YEAH!!
yeah, that felt better.

oh, and it may be a nowhere road, but there's plenty of traffic.
and, contrary to my first assumption...
if you pull over to take a piss--
the vehicle is not enough cover.
just make a note of it.
and also, two words:
stage fright.
took me ten minutes of cool breezes on the white ass to take that urgent piss.
fuck that.

and now, just a quick word from our sponsors...
i'd like to thank you all for your support on the nose thing.
and to those of you who think it was stupid, silly, or ugly: thanks for keeping your god damned opinions to yourselves.
ya old poops.

speaking of being old...again.
i was thinking...
and it may just be a rationalization, but here's what i think.
the reason i'm thinking about comfortable shoes for a metallica concert is not so much that i'm a crotchety old lady.
(although that is an undisputed fact)
but more like: learning from experience.
you dig?
like, i've had trampled feet or twisted ankles enough times that i may have finally learned my lesson....
although, you'll be pleased to note i've chosen knee high black heeled boots in favor of the much suggested sneakers.
and the sexiest little shirt.

i can't believe how guilty i'm feeling for not writing a Fantasy Friday post.
i will try to write an extra one this week...
or something.
i'll make it up to you, darlings, i promise.
er, well, promise is a bit heavy.
but i'll try to remember, and if i remember, i'll work on it, and if i come up with something....
well, i think you see where this is going.
fast track to nowhere.
which just happens to be where i am at the moment...
hmmm...
what does that mean?

so, the mormon curse strikes again.
my neice just announced she is getting married in june.
two weeks BEFORE her 19th birthday.
fuuu-uuuckk.
i mean, to give the girl some credit, she's one of the most level headed, clear thinking, together 18 year olds i've ever met.
in fact, she was been a miniature adult ever since i can remember.
but still.
does she even know how much fucking fun her 20's could be if she was single and free to roam the earth???
and i'm not even suggesting (no matter how much i'd like to) that she abandon her faith.
i'm just talking about dating different boys, finishing her degree at the university SHE chooses, doing study abroad, finding a career path she'll enjoy.
erg.
pardon the vent.
but...
all that aside...
i am kind of excited for the event.
and for her to start her life and have some fun in whatever strange way she has chosen. =)
but damn.

just passing Cedar city.
i had a reader here, although i don't know if he's around anymore.
he seemed nice, sent me an email asking for advice on how to survive in this mormon-saturated environment.
i answered him once, then he replied, then my husband decided that i shouldn't correspond with him anymore.
do i sometimes want to scream????
do i sometimes feel smothered?
whatever.
well, Professor, if you're out there--howdy.
oh look there's walmart.
ever single town in utah is exactly the same.
it still sort of blows my kids' minds.
"another walmart, mom? is that wendy's, mom?"

okay, time to nix the carsickness before it fully sets in.
buh bye.