L is for the loud way you wake me each morning

O is for the odor emanating from your pants
V is for the vomit you left on the floor
E is for the energy you always have.

Kids.
gotta LOVE 'em.

so anyway....
what's new in your world today?
life is good, puke and all.
i can't think of a damn thing to say, even though the kids are tucked away upstairs on the other computer, playing their game.

i am smelling the smoke of a brush fire trickling in through an open upstairs window.
it's not fire season, so i wonder if it's a controlled burn.
whatever, i like it.
reminds me of camping...
funny thing is, i hate camping.
i love the idea of camping, but having no direct access to a shower nearly kills me, neurotically speaking of course.
the fires, the hiking, the tents--all good.
but the inability to be clean in the morning...
oddly it doesn't bother me to get dirty, dusty, sweaty and stay that way all day, it's just that morning=shower and there's no two ways about it.
and this, i imagine, is why i never succeeded in my attempts to be a hippie, back in the college-ish days.
oh well--i could never inhale properly anyway.

well...
if you weren't bored before you got here, it's safe to assume that you're either nodding off or near tears at this point.
let's see if i can't just step it up a notch...
i could tell you lies--dirty beautiful lies.
like...
the time i went to Mexico for the weekend with some girlfriends.
and it was amateur night at the strip club, halfway between our hotel and the beach.
we all made a pact to do it, but i went first and the others chickened out.
damn but i loved that pole.

or maybe i could tell you about the time i won a million dollars and blew it all on coke.
or the year i spent in Vienna singing opera.
or maybe i'll tell you about the top secret substance i invented which the government stole from me and uses to spy on its own citizens. (i was going to use it for making porn, but they're a bunch of prudes)

oh my god! that reminds me...
someone told me that there is a place in L.A. where you can pay $5000 and they will film you--
i think it was 3 cameras, all the lights, props, etc for 4 hours or something like that.
and no i'm not talking about that screenplay you've been working on.
i'm talking home porn taken to a new level.
that would be so much fun.

okay.
it would appear that playtime is over...
have a perfectly swell day.