this is what came out, when i sat down...
your ghost swirls around me, kissing me touching me holding me
for that brief moment you are with me
i catch my breath
realizing you are behind my closed eyes
swallowing hard, i grope for that picture--lost
deep breath; focus
now i see your eyes, your smile, hear your words, feel your skin
my mouth waters
i bite my lip
where are you?
to touch you again...
to laugh with you, walk with you, to know you--finally.
all of you laid out before me, as naked as your body--
for me to scoop up and spill over me, like rose petals or warm laundry
to be so close to you that i'm a part of you
to be the one who said the right things, did the right things--to you, for you.
to be your angel your devil your first love--your last love
...in my eyes
not very erotic, so maybe i'll try again....
moans of pleasure
two bodies like velcro
you slide your fingers into deep wet places
your kisses are like throwing gas on this fire
i leave trails of red skin down your back
needing you is all there is
okay, one more for the road:
we've been playing this game for weeks--months?
telling everyone else we're only friends.
telling each other we're only friends.
and each of us, at night, alone...
you are there with me as i lay in the dark.
i touch myself where i wish you would touch me.
at work we play our roles, stealing glances.
i can't breathe sometimes for wanting you.
it's thanksgiving night, a light snow falls.
no one else can come, so we take our beer and head to the hotel.
each of us feeling awkward that no one else came, but secretly thrilled.
we drink, lying on the bed, not touching.
until finally i can stand it no longer and kiss you.
feeling you at last, after so much wanting is like taking off a corset--sweet relief.
we tear at each other's clothes, not speaking for fear of breaking the spell.
me, wondering briefly at the wisdom of embarking on such an adventure.
you, hoping against hope that i don't back out.
your hands know my body from your dreams, and touch me in all the right ways.
having your skin on mine is something i hadn't even included in my fantasies and yet it is almost the best part.
you slide down...
kissing my breasts, then going lower... lower.
you are surprisingly good at this--all of it.
your tongue so soft and sure brings me the first wave of ecstasy.
your shoulders so broad, your goatee so full--it's easy to forget you're in high school.
...easy to forget my own name with your body against mine.
your green eyes sparkle and i pull you into me.
my legs wrap around you, my hands in your hair.
and now there is nothing but the feeling, the sweet rise to climax.
we don't stop for air until the third round.
then you shower me with the confessions of your lust, your worshipping....
and i try to convey my own, but they are lost on you, in your state of awe, of bliss.
your words are enough for me, to quench my thirst for love--though rather like a beer quenches the thirst for water.
we dive back into each other, neither of us willing to let go for fear of this mirage vanishing, and usher in the dawn.
...but i leave that bed wanting you more than i did entering it.
fuck you and have a nice day.