Monday, March 08, 2004

this stupid computer is running about as fast as...

i would be at the end of a marathon.
in other words...
it's draggin ass somethin fierce.
not that i can entirely throw stones, what with living in the glass house of fatigue myself today...
but still.
it's a damn machine!!
it's not supposed to be affected by lack of sleep and hormonal/seasonal fluctuations in energy levels.
is it?
nah, i didn't think so, but i wanted to check.

So last night i was dead exhausted (due to a friday night drinking escapade, reading into the wee hours on saturday night, and spending all day sunday cooking and cleaning, then hosting a huge dinner.)
i actually dozed off around 8:30 while my husband was getting the kidlets jammied and planted in bed.
i was rudely jarred awake by him calling to me to come say goodnight to the little dears.
damn him.
so i cotton headedly (nice word) bid them bon nuit and wandered into the kitchen where i watched the hubby do dishes for a while before realizing that all i wanted was to go back to bed.
so i did, but on the way...
i had to check the bloggy stuff.
what a dumbass.
so anyway.
oh yeah...
i interupt this post to bring you a special announcement:
while i was cleaning up from the party, i sort of tripped and landed with my face in a pile of cake....
so, i had to eat it.
it felt so fucking great to eat real sugar and white flour and chocolate sprinkles!!!!!!!!
for about 5 seconds....
and the next greatest thing was washing it down with real, live, cow's milk.
have i ever mentioned how much i love a nice cold glass of milk?
milk and dessert!!!!
for me, it's like cigarettes and beer for some people. husband quit smoking a year ago, but if he drinks, he smokes.
i'm terribly ashamed and feeling fatter already.
and of course the rest of the cake is sitting in the pantry and it's calling to me.
its silky smooth voice wafting out through the key hole of the closed door....
promising me that it won't turn to fat, that it won't make my body produce insulin....
it's a damn liar, but what a pretty voice...
maybe i'll just smell it...
or put some in my mouth and spit it out...
where was i?
oh yeah.
so i was friggin tired last night, and before i had the chance to doze off...
i found myself in the mood for a little something else.
so that woke me right up and i ended up laying there, all sorts of satisfied and tired--but with my brain on crack, just going a mile a minute.
that inner monologue would not shut up.
and here's how i know the pms fairy was lurking--
at one point i was having a conversation with my sister, and a few tears leaked out.
cuz i was so moved by her willingness to help me with my writing.
let's keep in mind, this was all in my head!!!
i'm fucked.
i need some serious help.
see, i had an idea, and i had to pitch it to her in my head before doing it in person, to see how i thougt she would react...
apparently it's going to get really emotional, so forget it.
i'll shelve it for a while.
but at least it was good for a laugh.

so today is gorgeous and sunny and warm.
and i feel like laying on the couch with a blanket and a book.
i am not excited to see spring.
i am not filled with excitement and the sense of new and fresh things on the horizon.
i don't give a shit.
i feel like a bear who was awakened from hibernation.
fuck all y'all i'm going back to sleep!
that's what little Lisa Bear would say.
and for today, i'm not even excited about Vegas.
i just want to sleep.
would someone pack for me?
pick out some really slutty clothes, couldja?
if i was in charge of packing for that trip right now, at this moment??
i would pack sweats, and slippers.
i'm sure i'll snap out of it soon, it's just weird.
i usually get all fluttery and sparkly when i smell spring floating in on the western wind....
just walking around the neighborhood while the boys ride their trikes or pull their wagons is enough to get me smiling.
we did that today and i dragged ass the whole time, eyes half closed.
i feel like someone drugged me.
it's probably the sugar.

i'm thinking about starting a new blog.
a second, "side blog" kind of thing.
cuz i have this friend who reallllllly ought to be blogging.
she's a spaz.
but she's scared to get started, so maybe i'll make her do a joint one with me (since we don't have a pipe).

if anyone's interested in writing a fantasy friday post, i will be accepting submissions.
you may request it to be posted anonymously, or with a link back to you, or under a pen name for all i care.
you may also submit requests for general plot ideas for the ones i write, but i won't make any promises...=)
and no, none of this means i've run out of fantasies...
okay, maybe it does.
but i'm sure it's only temporary.

oh, i added a couple of new pictures to my pictures links on the sidebar, so check em out.
or not.
in fact, if it requires effort, don't do it.
effort is the new eff word.
laying on the couch--no, in my bed.
with a book.
but my eyes will be closed.
sounds gooooooooood..............

No comments: