Monday, March 22, 2004

manic mondays are for sissies

metallica and godsmack concerts?
not for sissies.
well, okay, sissies are not actually prohibited from entering--
but they're generally escorted to the balcony seats and given earplugs and a glass of warm milk.
okay, or sometimes they stand next to me at the rail and show no emotion whatsoever.
and then there was the guy on the other side of me with a missing finger on one hand a big nasty oozing wart on the other.
not to mention his porn star/hick moustache.
i could tell he was highly uncomfortable in his own skin and i felt bad for him--
even composed a conversation, asking him about the finger, picturing a casual smile on my face and how i would put him at ease, then sensing his hesitation/discomfort, i would remark, in my wisdom and kindness, "our culture is way too fixated on perfection."
it would have been a tender moment, and changed his outlook on life, possibly saving him years of misery.
but i was too shy.

so the boys were all in top form last night, high energy.
godsmack dude (don't know his name, but i'd be glad to have his baby) took his shirt off and that was a special treat.
made me want to take mine off.
oh, and my newest crush is Kirk Hammet, and his hair.
two separate crushes, actually.
damn i love that hair.
funny how his body seems hairless when his head his such beautiful locks.
also, i think it's important to note that i'm already beginning to exhibit signs of withdrawal.
it's a heady addiction, this life of a groupie.
i called my friend during the show so she could hear it, even though she probably couldn't hear a damn thing.
but i tried.
and that counts for something, these days.
a little something...
yadda yadda yadda.

coolest thing ever:
Cameron's father saved us a place in line cuz heh got there first.
almost used our extra ticket, too.
in his suit.
and cameron's brother had his "meet and greet" pass for last night's show.
he said it was very cool, very laid back, and he got to talk to each band member for a few minutes, and Kirk and James both recognized him from the previous shows and he had them sign two blank cd's that he's going to burn metallica onto. and, not surprisingly, all of the other fans were semi-coherant slobbering fools.
one guy even said, "you're the shit, man." to James hetfield whot had the funniest look on his face.
what an odd situation that is.
they must appreciate the adoration, but how can they not be disgusted with people like that?
so i'm sure D. made his typically good impression on them.
i'm so jealous i could pee.
well, actually i'm driving again so of course i have to pee.
i just can't seem to stop drinking bottle after bottle of water.
we had a great time.
the whole weekend has been alternately relaxing and invigorating.
good food, without cheating on the FATkins diet (i may have stolen that from Kevynn Malone, but it's also possible that he's not the only one to call it that...)

Spokane is a strange city.
We were only there for about 16 hours, so it's hard to make an accurate assessment...
but it sure seemed like there were a lot of slums and run down nasty sections.
there were also some beautiful old buildings but we didn't see much that was nice.

i had the sexiest dream last night!
i think i'll keep the details to myself, but it was extremely hot.

back to the regularly scheduled program...

the music.
it just seemed to be inside me, not just stopping at the eardrums and vibrating.
sinking into the deepest tissue of my muscles, sliding around my bones.
animating me from the outside.
looking around at all the other faces, wondering who is stoned senseless, who is flying, who is tripping, who is pissed drunk--and mostly wondering why.
why rob yourself of the experience you intended to have?
sign # 412 that Lisa is too fucking old for this shiiiiiiiit.
oh yeah!
Godsmack--2nd or 3rd song in, lead singer dude gets all pissed at the crowd in the seated section.
"get the fuck off your asses! you are not at home with a remote in your hand, you are not playing video games! get the fuck up and rock!"
so most of the people stood, but there were a few stragglers, so he turned his sexy fury on them.
"if you're still sitting you are either too drunk to stand or too old to be here, either way it's time to stand up!!"
so they did.
you don't mess with that guy.
even if he is my size.
that voice is bigger than The Rock.
...of course that could just be the 'roids on the part of the rock, but that's another story.

saw the coolest big rig yesterday.
it had a hand lettered sign taped to the back declaring: REAL WOMEN FLASH TRUCKERS
i almost did it.
it was like a dare--a challenge.
oh yeah?
well fuck you, cuz i am a real woman!
yeah, if it wasn't for that pesky shoulder strap of the seatbelt...
that guy would've gotten an eye full of Lisa tit.
he lucked missed out.

oh, by the way.
i think my kids have
somehow acquired their dialect psychicly (that doesn't look like a real word, but whatev.)
i know it sounds crazy, but just wait, i'll explain.
they have a maine accent sometimes, and use french pronunciation at times, as well.
like "toilet" they pronounce "twoilet".
um, nevermind.
it's not french.
god damn i'm getting dumber every day.
possibly every hour.
but i can't really be expected to take full responsibility for my words cuz my bladder is full.
i mean reallly damn full.

dammit, i just dropped my internet connection.
i'll switch to notepad so i can finish up and post it later.
in case you're wondering.
oh yeah, i also have a bunch of great pictures that will be coming soon--including but not limited to: my brother in law with each of the members of metallica.

i'm back in a sprint area.
here you go....
have a marvelous day.
or at least don't be a bitch.

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