Sunday, August 31, 2003

It actually worked!

My little demand/request to the Utah weather gods was a success! we've had some gorgeous days of sun and coooool temps. now if only i could find a hiker's backpack to hold two 3 year olds....i know, i'm not supposed to let them hold me back, but really! they're not big enough to go on real hikes yet. oh well. i guess i could find someone to watch one of them and then i could take them one at a time....but i let a friend borrow my nice hiker-carrier. the other one i have sucks. see? i always find a way out. that's okay. i'll take them and if i don't get any excercise because they walk so slow, then so be it. at least i'll keep my tan. cuz fer cryin out loud, people. that's what this weather was made for!!

My neighbors, my favorite neighbors. why can't they learn that leaving your teenage kids home for the weekend is a BAD idea???? more than bad--ridiculously, frighteningly dangerous. They have, of course, been partying non stop since their mom took off with my, i mean HER, boyfriend on friday. AND 15 year old chica has been driving mom's car and it totally broke down today and she was out in the driveway calling every guy she's ever met to ask for help (and since she's a bitch, it took quite a few calls...) and THEN the cops were called (not by me--i do NOT get into that sort of thing, i'm more of a live and let live type...) and so it goes. i guess i need something to keep me entertained, cuz lord knows cable tv ain't what it used to be. (okay, it's better than it used to be, but that just sounded good). they're like the trouble makin'est fools i ever done see.

okay. better get some rest before pukefest 2003 starts again. (kids!!)

i'm shuddering again....

and this time with sheer joy. i just got home from Dillard's. happy labor day, lisa! gaaaaaaaaaaawd. i haven't been shopping for too damn long. i had forgotten the rush, the thrill......aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..........and of course, getting calvin klein jeans for pesos is always orgasmic in itself! and just a quick thanks to old Cal for marking the jeans that fit me with a size that's like, 2 sizes smaller than any of my other jeans. that never fails to twist a smile out of my face.

AND i got my hair trimmed yesterday, so the curl is back. did i ever mention that i have curly hair? as it grows it gets heavy so the curl relaxes a bit. anyway, now i'm dying to GO somewhere so i can show off my new clothes and hair and this tan before it fades (cuz utah's too damn hot to spend enough time outside to keep it and i am morally opposed to tanning beds. which is not to say that i didn't give it a try in the spring, but that should just serve as a reminder that i'm not terribly stuck on most of my least not ones involving things i won't do because they're for conceited people....hmm, i haven't used that word in a really long time--conceited. heh. i like it. gives me this little surge of high school memories or something. nice paranthetical sentence.) uh anyway. i need to go somewhere this week besides the gym. and i need my arms to hurry the hell up and get re-toned. and and and and. maybe i'll go check out one of my single friends' hot little beaus. i love calling them beaus, because that somehow sounds better than "hot little guy she's screwing at the moment"....oops, she reads, just kidding, sweetie....err....she knows i'm just jealous.

when i upgrade to blogger pro y'all better just watch out. i'm going to start posting pictures of stuff. like, to an annoying degree. Either that or i'll be too lazy to ever get around to A. upgrading or 2. posting pictures. (that was for you, jeannie!) jeannie who is still in my magical Maine. jeannie who hated maine with a deep and vibrant loathing. jeannie who i miss so much!!!

okay. i'm going to go try to download some songs from the FReaky Friday soundtrack. and yes, i'm BUYING the DVD when it's released. aw, go fuck yourself. just cuz your inner child has been in time out for the past 15 years, don't blame me. just cuz my inner child rules my universe, don't be jealous of me. i found some folders from old writing classes and i think if i get really inspired (read: remember to do it) i'll post a little story or something. ah ha! THAT'S the reason i want blogger pro. i'm such a dumb ass. i forgot that one of the main reasons i want to upgrade is the ability to post other stuff and link to it. ooh, i just thought of a fun way around that system. hold on, i'm going to try it. but i still want to post pictures so i'll still go pro. but anyway.

why yes, it did work. i'm too impatient to do it that way, though, so i'm still highly motivated to go pro. why did that sound dirty to me? why does everything always sound like a dirty joke just waiting to be told?

what a day

however. today i took my 11 year old niece to see a movie for her birthday. Freaky Friday--i have to say i was pleasantly surprised. very funny.

today while i was driving i had some really cool thoughts and i was annoyed that i haven't gotten around to getting a digital voice recorder yet. i guess i could even go old school and get a mini casette recorder, but that would be silly. which reminds me--last night when i asked at the video store counter if there were any copies of Chicago in, the girl said no so i started to walk away and she said, oh wait, did you mean VHS or DVD? i had sort of forgotten anyone still used vhs...truly. it was weird. i had this moment of confused thoughts, cobwebs, etc and then i stammered, uh...dvd...and she said, well i'll check, i just assumed you wanted vhs. which was even stranger to me. So there you have my twilight zone experience. i know--it was compelling writing, eh?

seriously, could someone dump some cayenne pepper on me or something? (you better duck, it's going to be cheesy...) cuz i could use a little spice in my life. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

i just edited this to remove all puke references. don't know what i was thinking.

Saturday, August 30, 2003

still shuddering...

and no, not from pleasure. god. oh lord in heaven. please have mercy on those poor boys who attempted to take our lives by sheer musical ineptitude. fuuuuuck. wow. they followed through with their plan to have no songs, alright. they also achieved a vacume of talent. man. oh god, i'm seriously still convulsing. i don't quite know how to describe what they were doing. jamming is what they called it, but i'd say it was more like 4 guys with some instruments they had never seen was brutal.

Friday, August 29, 2003


Seriously. I mean dammmit. I guess i'll have to watch them one of the 8,000 times Mtv will replay them, but still. Hot stuff and i missed it.

so, i was at my friend's house today and she wasn't there, but her kids and my other friend was...and our 18.3 combined children were running around having a great old time. I went to check on my kids and one of them was opening a door i thought maybe he shouldn't, so i closed it. and nearly fainted. the rush of wind from closing the door brought all the odors of the room out. a room where her 19 year old brother lives. boy smell. cologne, sweat. i had to open it again just to get a deep breath of it. okay, so i'm being dramatic again, but it was truly intoxicating.

trying to scrounge up a babysitter, last minute, to go see my husband's youngest brother (he has 5) play with his band. They're really weird, and i have no idea if they're any, they have this theory that writing an actual song which enables you to play the same thing over and over is lame....they believe in strictly jamming. um. well. good luck with that. and they think that if you sell albums and get played on the radio that's a bad thing--selling out. i think they should smoke some more crack. buuuut, i am very curious to see if they are any good. so if any of you are free tonight...

i really need to upgrade to blogger pro so i can put pictures on here. I might even go raymi-esque on you and post some good ones. just kidding. i would probably be a huge dork and post pictures of my kids and my new bed...but maybe i'd get creative and take some pictures of all the amazing scenery (and no i don't mean at the gym)........hmm...............I smell, not boy smell... A HOBBY!!!!!!!!! okay, it's settled. most go pro.

oh i almost forgot. last night i had another freakishly large amount of traffic, unexplained so far. i wish i knew how to figure that stuff out. once again, perhaps i should move to a paid web stats thing instead of just a simple counter....but i did check google, just searched for "bored housewife" and i'm 6th on the list...the rest are porn sites...i still think it's funny that that's such a widely used term. oh well. i guess we bored little housewives are all a little slutty--if only in our minds!

time to go be productive. or eat something.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

i know i promised

not to talk this much about my kids, but tough. right now they're rearranging my fridge. it's hilarious. i'm sure i'ts only a matter of moments before a jar of pickles or mayo goes crashing to floor causing mayhem. oh well.

rude awakenings

ha! just kidding becky. i was awakened this morning by a phone call. but it was great--from the one friend i have left in utah (yes, i know i said i didn't have any, but that was more dramatic!) and there's no better way to start the day. well, i can't leave a blanket statement like that with no clauses and, waking at noon is always my favorite way to start the day, or sex can be a good waker upper, or a knock on the door from Ed McMahon wouldn't be too shabby....but anyway. so i was having one of those mornings where i'm dreaming the most lucious, realistic thing on the whole planet and then my alarm goes off so i keep snoozing it and sliding back into wonderland and then she called and i had to come back to reality for good. which was a good thing, cuz i would have stayed in bed all day with that dream. and i don't need that. it was easier to let it go with a good solid distraction. now that i recall it though, i want to go back to sleep and pick up where i left off....

Bought The Good Girl last night. I love that movie. Of course, the older woman/younger man thing has always sort of kicked me in the gut. and jennifer aniston is so damn cute. love her. in fact, what i really thought was well executed in that movie was her wardrobe--for once they actually dressed their blue collar heroine in clothing that her character would have truly worn. usually they have the "poor working mother" or the "from the sticks teen" dressed waaaaay too trendily. it's silly. and who doesn't love the girl she works with, the one who says all the smart ass stuff over the PA?????? hell yeah.

also bought phone booth, against MY better judgement, hubby's choice. we hadn't even seen it yet. i am morally opposed to buying a movie i've never seen. in fact, i believe only in buying movies i know i could watch over and over and still enjoy, because just loving a movie isn't enough. there are plenty of movies i enjoyed the hell out of but don't ever need/want to see again. anyway. phone booth was fine, but not good enough to buy. oh well. it was ten bucks, what do i care?

okay, better go do something. happy 5 year anniversary to me. woo hoo!

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

little light bulb moment

I just put my finger on why exactly it bothers me when the media refers to groups of soldiers as "troops". they say, "5,000 troops were deployed to..." and it always bugs me. I would always say to myself (sometimes out loud) "Why do they call them troops? that doesn't sound right." but then, inevitably, one or both of my sons would do something which would require my attention and i would not give it proper thought. well. finally! this time when i mulled it ever so slightly over, i figured it out. (hey--bite me. if you'll recall a few posts back i was very upfront about the dwindling IQ problem) it's this: if i am enlisted in the army, say, would i call myself a troop? hi, what's going on. i'm a troop. i DO NOT FRIGGIN THINK SO. so if i alone am not a troop, how can i call myself and 4,999 of my buddies "5000 troops"? and that my friends, is what you call a long overdue scratching of an itch. and it's brought to you by the letters F and U. fucking illiterate media. also, where oh where has my comment box gone?

endorphins are my drug of choice

what a great workout i just had! damn. i just decided to join some friends on a 5k run at the end of september. Should be fun. i'll be ready to kick some ass by then. and hopefully it'll be under 90 degrees by then. i know. i should probably quit bitching about the heat. at least it's a dry heat. ha. it really does make a difference, but i don't really know which is worse. there's something so much better about being boiled alive in maine because i know there's a little corner of the ocean waiting for me which is at least 10 degrees cooler.

my kids are upstairs and i haven't heard much from them in a few too many minutes. i'm sure my new bed is either completely dismantled or soaked with water or all the dvds i just dragged up there are broken or shoved in the heat vent or something. do i care? not right now.

ooooooh. it's time for me to start plugging my hero: NaNoWriMo. do it. all of you. especially those of you who have always wanted to write a novel but even those who just thought of it 3 seconds ago. if you don't have a story in mind--tell your own story. the story of you. one month til sign ups, two months til start date. don't cheat. and buy the t-shirt, cuz seriously--i feel very much too big for my britches when i wear mine. it's a good thing. a tight little t-shirt bragging of an accomplishment--it's a good thing. wonder how old Martha's doing, anyway?


if my comments box was working, FOR ONCE, i'd be a bit happier, but frankly i woke up on the wrong side of my gigantic bed. hey--that thing's confusing, there are so many different possibilities......cranky little girl this morning. could be the midnight taco hell run, ending in some inadvertently non-supreme soft tacos, and then the scorching heat because the kids turned off the AC and we didn't much for a luxurious first night in the new bed. fuck. well, at least THAT was good.

note to weather gods of Utah: turn the fucking dial down. it's god damn september. ever heard of autumn? yeah, i didn't think so.

how do they expect these kids to learn anything with such nauseating warmth permeating every inch of their stuffy schools? it's not right. there should be crisp cool air and apples.

okay, not to step entirely out of character here, but i'm a little worked up over this Kid and his parents. it's such a frightening state of Big Brother. i mean, i'm all for doing whatever it takes to save a child's life, but if his parents have different ideas from the doctor, i believe it's their CONSTITUTIONAL right to have him treated in whatever manner they feel is best. utah. motherfuckers. nazis, actually. ooooooooooh, that reminds me of my favorite new conspiracy theory! i was trying to figure out why utah and california have such high populations of blond "perfection". and that's it, right there: nazis. they somehow started secret colonies of the "master race" and they're such a big secret that the blondies don't even know they're a part of it. so to all you perfect lookingn assholes around here: go make babies with someone really ugly. (although i just realized the flaw in my reasoning: everyone looks perfect around here, not just the blondes, so it couldn't be hitler, but it's someone....perhaps walt disney????)

okay, so maybe i should lay off the drugs. but damn. they're so warm and fuzzy in my tummy........

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

i'm not even kidding when i say

I sometimes wonder if my IQ has been reduced to half its original size. I swear to god. i have the paper to prove that i was once rather intelligent, but holy shit on a stick. i refuse to believe that i am still functioning at a level above actual mental handicappedness....errr...see what i mean???? okay, so i still don't really know who bob is, but i did finally summon enough brain power to CLICK ON THE GOD DAMN LINK TO EMAIL HIM. which i'm not going to do, cuz, please. but, it gave a full name and a company email address. i figure it was either one of two things: a mistake, or a comment box spam. which is a little embarassing to admit after my dramatics the other day....blushing....i love drama, though. and the message was so endearing, because A. I'm a sucker for people wishing i was with them (yes, any and all people) and B. fuck i forgot B already. um...oh yeah. because like i said this morning, that's my favorite Floyd song. well fuck you bob pugh. that has a great rhythm. perhaps i'll email him after all....

so tonight i'm "out with the girls" and that's nice. i'd forgotten about them. all of my real friends have moved away so i guess i''ll have to quit being such a snob about these boring mormon girls. bleck. who wants to sit around with a bunch of fat chicks (hey, sorry but it's true!) and NOT drink, and NOT swear and NOT punch them in the face??????? i know. once i, too, was a boring mormon girl. although, to be fair, i really wasn't boring. and the only reason they are is that they are. probably has nothing to do with their religious affiliation, but in case you're new here--i blame EVERYTHING on that, mostly for fun. like...when it is over a hundred degrees for the 43rd day in a row, what do i mutter? "Damn Mormons." and when there's a traffic jam?--"damn mormons." and when it's sunday afternoon and all the stores are empty? well, ahem, you caught me. but that's the only one.

OH MY GOD! i just remembered the freaking weirdest freak of a guy i met while i was in maine!!!!!!!!! holy lord. there's no way i can do him justice, but here's the jist: he wants to move to utah because the weather is a lot milder than Maine (true) and he likes the idea that there are so many mormons (weird, but true) because.....drum roll.....he thinks they'll keep a close watch on all the "ethnic people". now, before you get offended, or even scratch a hole in your head trying to figure that out, it gets better. at first i thought, "god, is this guy racist or something? and how can he be so un-PC???" and then he explained that it's because of all the occult facets of their religious beliefs....huh????????? he went on and on about it but none of was even an attempt at an explanation, he was just assuming that this was a matter of common knowledge, apparently. riiiiiiiiiiight. cuz catholics are just so satanic??!?!?! i mean, not to be sterotypical, but all the mexican immigrants here are either mormon or catholic. maybe i'm an ostrich with her head in the sand, but i didn't realize there was a problem with the occult in our country--OR ANY OTHER FOR THAT MATTER!! i mean, we all know jamaica as a place where voo doo is popular with the kids (har) but, what the hell was he talking about????? maybe i'm the clueless one, and if so, please enlighten me. i was trying hard not to laugh. and when he asked for my number so he could look me up if he ever moves out here. all those years of training from giving out fake numbers at the bar came in very handy. actually, i never gave out fake numbers. if i didn't want a guy to call i just turned down the request. not that hard girls, not that hard. i always hated girls who went out with guys cuz they couldn't say no. fuck that. don't lead the poor sucker on, you know?

enough of the rant aleady. maybe someday i'll start taking this thing seriously. sort of feeling like writing a story....but, i need to prep dinner and rearrange the bathrooms and read Harry Pottttttttter. On my new bed. yes, it's possible i'll stop talking about the bed soon. maybe.

there are two things i forgot to mention that i missed while i was in maine: first and most importantly: my cell phone. i didn't take it with me because it would have been useless there, but DAMN i'm attatched to that thing. i mean, literally. it's bonded to my hand....kind of painful--but a good pain. okay, and secondly (or B, as jeannie would say!!!) my neighbor. slurp. god. i can't even believe i am so attracted to a man that old (40's) but it's all about the Harley. and of course, he is hot. and no, i didn't really miss him. but he roared up a few minutes ago and sent shivers up my spine so i had to mention it. had rather loud sex with the window open last night and i have to say i enjoyed the thought of HIM hearing. hee hee. the hubby knows i'm "in love" with dude next door, so it's okay.

the eagle has landed

that's right. THE bed. i actually laid awake until almost 4 in the morning because i was so excited for the furniture truck to arrive this morning. which works well, because what do you want to do the first minute you get a new bed? lie in it. (well, only after you make it....ha) and now i have a really good reason. i've even talked my kids into watching a movie in "the new bed!!" later. they're very excited. it's so gigantic. they must think it's a whole new room or something. i'm seriously getting an intercom system so i don't have to hitch a ride over to the other side of the bed to tell the hubby good night.

who the fuck is bob? probably some masochist who knows how completely insane i'll go until i solve the mystery. probably some joe who thought i was someone else or something. but still. that is my favorite pink floyd song and it is also an interesting phrase.

my friend has this friend who adopted 2 kids. they are of an African American gene pool and she's as white as can be. (just setting up the story, hold on) so my friend and this friend and the kids were in the store the other day and my friend is a total goof ball and she kept putting things on the little boy's head and calling him like, book head or shoe head, etc and then she put a box of crackers on his head and without thinking, said, "cracker head". she got some dirty looks. it made me spit out my orange juice when she told me.

time to fill the kiddie pool and go try to enjoy the day, which may not be brutally hot...haven't checked yet.

yes, i'm on a george michael kick

cuz, i have to say it: sex is natural sex is good--not everybody does it, but everybody should! aaaaaaaaaah. 5 weeks of celibicay proved to be too much for the girl, sadly, and when reunited with her mate she was like a cat in heat. which was a good thing.

so anyway. does it count to say i "discovered" a great new blog if i just followed a link on someone else's site? feels like cheating....oh well. check out The American Undershirt. goooooood read. clever chap. not nearly so self-centered as I. which reminds me that i'm probably more what you'd consider self-centered than selfish, cuz i love people and i love to listen but i just happen to sincerely believe that i am the central point of the universe and it revolves around me and my needs. well, duh.

and Radiohead is playing MY FAVORITE OUTDOOR AMPHITHEATER in a couple of days. i've just discovered them, and since it's my anniversary that day, i don't imagine i'll be going. but i am really growing fond of them. i'm such a music junkie.

also, i was just reading my little stories, which i linked over on the sidebar and found a couple of comments. the first was nice, normal, etc. the second was from someone who only named him/herself as bob and left no links. the message intrigued me, however, so i'm just asking if whoever left that comment is still around, please reply, or something.......i have one guess as to who it could have been, and if it's that person then i'd like to say, "ditto". but if not, then probably i'd say something more along the lines of "lisa's not my real name and i don't really live in utah, so don't bother looking for me!" Just kidding.

we were watching some movie on tv the other day and their creative bleeping was too good. The one guy called the other guy a keyhole. Instead of an asshole, I imagine….you’re such a fucking keyhole sometimes, man! i'm totally going to start using that. if i can ever stop giggling when i say it.

Monday, August 25, 2003

that was weird. all of today's posts were missing for a minute. let me check on that...

finally back on the wagon

the exercise wagon, that is.

had a greaaaat workout. felt so good to run again. AND Somehow, miraculously, I actually continued losing weight while I was in maine.

Was it:
a. the lack of exercise
b. the enormous amounts of fried seafood or
c. all the light beer and late nights?

Okay, okay, so it was probably the late nights. I think I get too much sleep usually. But seriously—I looked better in my gym clothes today than when I left. I don’t know if this is how it really works, but I sort of think I built up too much muscle under my flabbiness so it just made me look bigger….all those weeks of non-exercise let the muscles dwindle, so I’ve sort of shrunk…….is someone obsessed with her body? Oooh! Name that movie: “Obsess much?” love that flick.

what a great day! i cleaned the entire fridge this morning, and i've been doing dishes and laundry all afternoon, as well as getting the master bedroom ready for its delivery tomorrow. see...there are two bedrooms downstairs and only the master is upstairs so when the babies were small we moved to one of the downstairs rooms so we could be right next to their room and NOW we are moving back up to the gigantic room, which will not even be ruffled by the size of our gigantic new bed. and tv. and i think we're taking the leather love seat up there. cuz seriously, it's huge. we've been using it as a family room these past couple of years because it's so big. sigh. i fear change. i love change, but sometimes i fear it. what a weirdo. discovered a fabulous new position last night, however. total non sequitur, but whatev. there's no conversation that phrase shouldn't be slipped into.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

he he he

i love the stupid ad banners at the top of my blog. for some reason (possibly all the "god damn"ing) i have an ad up there for some religious thing. it's kind of creepy how the ads are different for different viewers. at least that's what i heard.

fucking hot. so hot i don't want to leave the house. so hot that after about ten minutes of being outside while the kids rode their trikes i suggested a trip to Wally World. not because we were in desperate enough need of some dish soap and eggs that it would normally warrant a trip with the kids (hellish torment) but because i knew if i suggested it they'd be excited and we could get in the air conditioned car and then wander around the air conditioned store. but lisa, you say. isn't your house air conditioned? why, yes, i'll respond. but the kidlets aren't easily enticed into returning to the boring indoors. sad. the games i have to play to get through a day with my little tornados would make your head spin like a--well, a tornado, actually.

i'm quivering with excitment. no, i'm not going to talk about my new bed again. or the big screen tv (but i'll get to that later in the week, when it actually arrives and i can stare at it for hours, trembling...then turn it on.) anyway. tangents, tangents. no, right now i have in my posession the 5th Harry Potter book. which will be great fun to read. and it means i get to procrastinate other stuff. such as writing MY book. heh. hey, it's research. young adult fantasy, and adult romance don't have that much in common, but hey.

did you just say butt hay?

ah ha

(no, not george michael's band from the 80's.)

i just rediscovered my voice. the one that can't be heard above the cacophone of sound created by my twinners.

and i don't care what anyone says: Old School (Will Farrell, etc) is hilarious. "I'm here for the gang bang." snicker. i love luke wilson. and the dude from Swingers....vince vaughn. THAT was a motherfucking great movie.

what the hell is my problem??? why can't i just be satisfied with life the way it is? i feel like the dudes in old school, sometimes. i want to go live in a frat house (errr...well...) and party and be entirely, utterly, and unguilitily selfish! i want to do whatever the hell i want, whenever i want. and this makes me feel massive amounts of guilt. i'm just really bad at adjustments. i'm home. and home is good, but it's so suburban.

i am an idiot. in more ways than i can count, frankly, but today i'm an idiot because i should have registered for school. at least a creative writing class. i need it. i need to learn more things about how to write a novel properly. i worry all the time that it's not going to be good enough. i guess that's life.

while shopping for a new quilt and some (400 thread count!!) sheets for my new bed, we passed Pier 1. and i smiled to myself.

i'm a bad wife. i don't do enough of the things my husband wants me to do, while he's bending over backwards for me. see, it's back to that selfish problem again. he's so great. i just hope he can put up with me a bit longer, until i pull my head out of my ass, or whatever. maybe i'll write some more little stories here. i need to do something to stir it up.

seriously. i'm going to have to change the name of this blog to "Whiney and Boring Housewife". fuck.

i apologize for my laziness

i have excuses, and they are numerous and intricate. but the bottom line is, i'm lazy and uninspired. i think i'll find my muse sometime on tuesday...that's the day they deliver the most exquisite king sized bed on the planet to MY HOUSE. i could try to tell you how much this means to me, but i fear i would fail. i have not had a good night's sleep in 5 and a half years. oh the bed i have is gorgeous--a spring air back supporter pillowtop queen. queen. that's right. my husband is 6' 2" and a thrashing sleeper so a queen feels like a twin. a king, on the other hand. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh. it's like, i have to phone him just to say goodnight. hallelujah. and of course, plenty of room for playing.

yes the title of this is bored housewife, not boring housewife, but back the fuck off. we all know if you're bored you're boring.

twin A is exploring the fridge right now. should i be yelling at him? probably. should i wisk him off to time out for the 17th time today? probably. do i have the energy left? hell no. and twin B is curled up in the big leather chair making prank calls on his play pay phone. just a glimpse of the teenage years, i imagine....

i had some cool things to say, but i forgot them. i had some ihteresting theory or rant or something. gone. and what am i left with ? the most boring dribble on the planet. so perhaps i'll let you all off the hook for today. i'll get my sorry ass in gear soon, i promise.

Friday, August 22, 2003

i can't take this

i just wrote a really long post, which was getting good by the end, and i swear to god i didn't touch anything and this little window popped up asking if i'd like to save this post before exiting so i cliked ok then it was gone. WHAT THE FUCK????????????? i don't even remember what i wrote, but there were a few things i liked. god damn it. where did it get saved to? and while i'm at it, why the fuck is only one page of my blog showing????? i pay good money for this it should work. oh yeah. i guess i'm getting what i paid for. heh.

i'm a grumpy old man today.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

why do i even bother?

with this when the kids are awake?????? for that matter, where in the bloody hell are all the gypsies when you need them??


i have such laptop mouse issues. fuck. i have just deleted two little half posts in a row. at least they weren't any good.

well, i'm home and that's very very very nice. i mean, it's really great. i love my house. i love my leather couches my more than 3 channels of tv my perfectly manicured lawn--and i even love my faggy car. and oh yeah--MY HUSBAND. what a swell guy. he even stayed home from work today just to hang out with us. how cute is that?

I am starting to suspect that said husband has some really cool things planned for our 5 year anniversary which is next week....

oops. time for the gym. more later!!!

Monday, August 18, 2003

sunday night and i feel alright


had a rather hellish day including (but not limited to) a little anaphylactic reaction to peanuts by twin A and a fat lip on myself from being clumsy with a swing topped off by a fancy, fun dinner party where i had no fun and got no dinner. fuh-uck. i mean, really. this single parent crap is ridiculous. i mean, shit. i don't know how you girls do it. it's slowly sucking the life out of me--and it's only been a month. and praise the lord and allah and every Joe on the street--i'm almost home! tomorrow is the last day of vacation, then tuesday is travel day/hell day.....erg. i am soooo excited to see my husband and go to the gym and have FAST INTERNET and drive MY CAR and all of that wonderful stuff, but i wish i could have all that without leaving here. There are so many people who are important to me here. that's what it's all about. people who really mean something--like my cousins and my friends and their parents......aaaaaaargggggh. does anyone have a glass? (for all the whine...)

please, wish me luck. and for anyone planning to fly from boston to slc on delta around 6pm on tuesday--pay the hundred bucks. switch your flight. believe me, it'll be worth it.

I can't believe my trip is over and i'm actually looking forward to going "home". yeeeee haw.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

feeling giddy

after i posted last night, i discovered that Tony Pierce the god of all bloggers, had linked me. And since I'm stuck here in dial up modem land, i havent' been checking his site as regularly (takes 8.3 years to load!) so I didn't see it. Anyway, i'm pretty damn excited.

and also, my husband called this morning to tell me he had spent the whole night with some old friends whose lives are so incredibly fucked up that he realized what a great life we have. and I agree. i just hope i can survive the flight home.

i have noticed this thing recently and i am not quite sure how to describe it. it's that moment between sleep and wakefulness when the brain is waking up and starts in immediately with whatever i was last thinking about before i fell asleep, or at least whatever was most on my mind. And I see it with such clarity, such honesty of my own feelings and thoughts. that's when i know the answer. when i've been trying to make a decision or feeling a certain way, and i wake up and--bam--there's the answer, there's the feeling that's true to me, not influenced by my thoughts, my worries. it's wild.

Saturday, August 16, 2003


and a hearty "hell yeah"! Look at the time stamp, people. it's 10:45 pm, as i start this post. and i have no liquor in my system. gaaaawd that feels great. i just got home from a little record store basement thingy where my best friend's little brother's band was playing. for some fucking reason (like, my ever-dwindling IQ, perhaps) I had pictured us at a little coffee shop all chatting as they played in the background. hmm. well, it's not like i have an excuse--i saw this same band at a bar (oh wait--there's the excuse!!) about 3 weeks ago and they were loud and crazy and fun...not conducive to leisurely conversation, however. dumbass. i'm a dumbass. but less of one than i could have been if i had made other plans for tonight.

so about five minutes after i got here one of the boys woke up (Oliver) and cried for mama and it made my heart smile that i was HERE--to pat his back and tuck him back in--instead of the bar watching my single friend drink herself into oblivion so that she has the courage to go home with yet another lame and undeserving guy. now if that ain't just annoying as hell to watch, then i don't know what is. yes i do--all the beautiful hippie chicks who were at the show tonight. they're only annoying because i have always wanted to be like that--quietly confident and dirty. can't. have to shower. shave. deoderize. there was one who was teeeeeny and had this mass of black hair that was all matted and tangled framing the most sublimely pretty little face. i love contrast!! i want to be HER. i went through a major hippie wannabe faze, but it never quite felt right. dammit. Phish, hemp necklaces, birkenstocks....sigh. i've never worn makeup, so that part worked but there's something about my face, my hair that just doesn't work right with that look.....awwwww fuckit. who cares? i wish i could hire someone to pick out the "right" look for me, though. sort of like a make ovver but not one of those cheesy ass tv ones where they give you a haircut and ONE new outfit--what the hell kind of sick joke is that??

Okay, so i have to tell you the coolest thing that happened last night at the bar. it MADE MY DAY--WEEK, EVEN! this girl came up to me and said, "I think I kow you--did you used to work at blah blah bed and breakfast in scarborough?" and i told her i didn't. and she said that i look exactly like some girl she used to know--so much so that it took her a few minutes to really grasp that i wasn't the girl she knew. I thnik she only believed me because her lost friend was from Ireland and i lack the accent. i am Irish, however. (McMahan.) but then guess what she said? this is the cool part. this is the part that makes me smile every time i think it. she was perhaps trying to prove why she was so interested and she said, "She was the most wonderful person i ever met and she was beautiful!" and i swear to god i blushed 18 shades of red. Now that's a motherfucking complement. not some guy who thinks he could get a piece, not some friend trying to reassure your sorry insecure ass--but a stranger, just describing a friend she mistook you for. i wanted to scoope her up and hug her--or give her all my money or something. i mean sheeeeeeesh. in case you're wondering, i don't hear things like that very often these past 5 years. that's okay, though. Also, that boy i saw the other night said he thinks i'll be the mom that all my kids' friends have a crush on! i didn't realize until afterwards exactly what he was saying....duh. like i said, being married has sort of closed those doors... I'm a MILF, i guess. i'm gonna have to go ahead and ask you all for another "hell yeah" on that!!!

damn it feels good (to be a gangsta).....I love Office Space. if you ahven't seen it--watch it. then watch it again. then do you know what i want you to do? that's right, watch that motherfucker until your eyes bleed!

okay, okay. i'm a slow writer. now you'll know how long it took me to write this post. and i'm hungry. i think i forgot to have dinner. frickin hell. i'm a wicked quee-ah.

Friday, August 15, 2003

What in the bloody hell

was i thinking? i just drove 45 minutes home with enough of a buzz that i'm still not entirely over it. dumb ass. that's my self-deprecation phrase of the week.

god i love this place, though. even if i did spend the day smashed between two carseats in the back seat of a Cadillac--not my favorite position for that location, heh heh. we drove all the hell over western Maine today. my parents, my children and I. god save me i wanted to kill everyone but my mom at some point. and the highlight was when my mom was reading the paper and there was an ad for "Two female cars, indoor only, fixed, good with children." I LOVE TYPOS!!!!!!!!!!! yum. but sadly that was in warren, which is only about ten minutes south of here on Rt. 1....ten minutes into a rather lengthy and many legged trip....(like a spider?) okay, okay, i'm being dramatic--it could have been worse, but i had 3 different stops to make and they were all rather short and unfulfilling visits. oh well. duty called...and i answered. and at the end of it all, my hair looked good and isn't that all a girl can really ask for?

then tonight i went to meet an old friend (okay, okay, so it was an old BOYfriend...) and it was really nice. sorry folks, that's all you get....

i love beer. i love maine. i feel so much more like the "real me" (whoever that is...) when i'm here. i wish i had all the answers....

i have some of them, though. like, the way the ocean smells at night and cold sand between your toes are just few of the things that a person shouldn't have to experience only through memory--nor is a good kiss. why can't life just be the way i want it to? why can't i be, uh, in the words of someone whose name is escaping me at the moment--young and wild and free??????? wait, it's coming...i guess it was bryan fucking adams, summer of 69. oh well. i'm a child of the 80's--i have no apologies for what lies in the deep folds of my gray matter due to the radio playlists of my youth......however. i wish i could just invent a time machine...nah, too many paradox problems. perhaps i should just look forward with courage and make the changes that are necessary. i fear the unknown.

god, who invited Intropsective Girl??? she's such a buzz kill. actually, i wish. why am i so annoyed by this buzz??? perhaps because it was wasted. my buzz didn't hit until i was leaving the bar. dammmmmmit. not that it was necessarily a situation which required buzzage, it's just that, well, why buzz if there's no one around? or better still, why waste a buzz concentrating like mad on your driving skills??? and frankly a little more beer before i walked in there wouldn't have hurt--i think i smiled too much. from being sort of nervous. just because i didn't know what to expect (see above).

only 4 more days. why do i feel like i leave behind a limb every time i leave here? okay, i finally pushed it over the edge--bye bye buzz.... and on that note--good night!

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

here comes the sun....

(doo-doo-doo-doo.) You'll have to pardon my obsession with the absence/presence of the sun--I am just not used to such a fickle little fella anymore! i mean, damn. i know i shouldn't be so surprised, since i DID grow up here, but a few years in a state where EVERY single day is sunny for 6 months, you sort of start to take it for granted....

so my husband is going to see 2 Live Crew this weekend. he he. i think that's hysterically, rolling on the floor, peeing your pants funny!!! I think his loneliness has hit a new low!!! they're playing some bar in the little hick town full of cowboys where Footloose was filmed. that alone makes me guffaw, snort, chortle, hee-haw, and all other manner of hick laughs. I am not jealous this time. Metallica--it still pains me to mention that he went without me. and frankly, i'm not so sure i'll be able to wear the shirt he got me (which, upon his re-examination should actually fit me quite well) without tearing up just a bit. Metallica. Metallica. oh well. Page-Plant and Jon Bonham's son are touring right now, so maybe i can catch them and do a little healing...

Is it still a full moon?

Cuz I'm feeling fiesty. Like tearing up this one horse running naked through the streets and shouting "free your minds!!!" errr...or something. see, this is what full moons do to me. well, i talk big, but i'm sure i'll be ready for a nap by 2, and the image of me running naked through these streets is making me giggle.

where is the suN???? Vacationland my ass.

and where the hell is my "comments" thing?????

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

why am i not asleep yet????? i'm ruther sleepy. and wishing there was a god damn motherfucking blockbuster here. or at least somewhere to rent a video (no, not a DVD--my cute little parents haven't evolved that far yet) after like, 9pm. or for that matter, i wish SOMETHING was open past 9pm. all the shops on main st. close at 5 and most restaurants close at 9....even Wally World closes at 10. I am sooooo spoiled by the city life. why do i want to return here??????? i love it madly, but i know it would drive me--er, well, mad if i actually moved back here....nah, it would jsut be an adjustment.....

i just realized that i have had crap for sleep too many nights in a row and i have nothing much to!! wait, that couldn't be true. let's try this again.

fuck. i felt some words inside for a minute there, but they dissipated. (a few moments pass...)

I found a local publisher, a little place dealing with local writers that i can push myself on when i am ready to seek such services...will one of you please remind me to finish the damn novel???? i think when i get back to the bar-less prison which IS utah, i'll be ready to tuck in and get serious about it again. speaking of utah.....blah. i hate it so. i just realized what a mother fucking beautiful play on words that was!!!! see...utah doesn't have very many bars--of the alcohol vending variety, so it's bar-less in two ways. hee hee.

Zack morris gettin' it on with pink bra girl on NYPD Blue....oh come on, you watched Saved by the Bell, too--admit it!!! not sure why the TV's even on....ah, that's better. my throbbing, pounding, pulsing head thanks me for standing up and finding the remote......

okay. time to go check a few favorite blogs, my two email accounts and then agonize over the decision about whether or not to call my husband. see, yesterday when we talked he said it just bums him out to talk to me cuz it reminds him that i'm not there and makes him miss me even more. i feel kind of bad for him, cuz i'm having lots of fun here. i do miss him, too, though. soooo....i asked him if he would prefer that i not call, because i don't want to make him sad, but then i'mi afraid if i DON'T call he'll be sad that i didn't call. or suspicious, more likely....he's a bit paranoid....blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
i was out waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late last night and now i'm doing this instead of sleeping. smart. nothing to say. brain too fuzzy.

Monday, August 11, 2003

holy cow. it actually worked!! It was still overcast when i woke up this morning, but after an hour or two my eyes were filled with the glorious color of blue and my heart raced. we scrambled to the beach and had a great old time, and arrived home just in time to go to the lobster bake.

all was well.

but alas, i waited for a phone call all day, rather anxiously, but it never arrived. i hate being silly. i realized today that i'm a drama queen of the highest caliber--yes, i iknow, i'm frickin' slow. i'm sure you all already knew that but it really just dawned on me today that i thrive on dramatic situations occuring in my life---and if there's not one there, i'll find one. like making that stupid ass phone call to begin with. or signing a guestbook of a faded friend.

why must i stir up trouble???

dumb ass dumb ass dumb ass dumb ass dumb ass dumb ass dumb ass dumb assdumb ass dumb ass dumb ass dumb ass.

also, i'm totally not okay with leaving here in 9 days. fuck that. i refuse. can i do that? i think it would be really cool ( and more than a little dramatic) if i just didn't leave. sigh.

god. self centered little biotch. so what's new with YOU? yes, you. leave me a little message. tell me about your day. tell me about your life--your heartbreaks, your triumphs, your passions. what did you have for dinner?

god damn Jasmine is going to France. $229 from Boston. fuck that. i want to go to France. why does my best friend get to do all the cool stuff????????????????

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Smooth and a perflectly aged and blended scotch.....just kidding, i have no frickin clue about quality liquor. gimmee a hefeweizen or a jack (daniels) and coke. HOWEVER. this blog is smooth and richly textured. i am intoxicated....
i just found my new best friend!!! No, seriously! That's the name of the blog. but i mean it. it's time's like these when i wish i could spend a lot more time just browsing the world...wide...web. and a couple of days ago as i was scanning the list of "fresh blogs" for interesting titles, as is my wont, i noticed one titled Confessions of a Little Twin. and it grabbed my eye, cuz of the twin thing, so i clicked it. and it turned out to be a girl named Lisa who lives in Utah and took french in high school and is attending the very same university that kicked the life out of me--and has a twin sister. The sad news (and the reason i'm not linking) is that she is still drowning in mormon bull piss, so i'm not sure if i want to "go there"...........i will probably leave her a comment, if her god damn service ever works, but i don't think i ought to give her my URL, cuz she might be shocked at the content....poor sheltered one. but, she seems pretty nice and is pleasantly obsessed with Pirates of the Carib. so she couldn't be all bad. =) i'm so dramatic. anyway, that just proves that sometimes it's still a small world...after all?

i have to say, i'm waaaaaaaaay too content with this whole living with my parents thing. i mean, there are certainly things about it that would be hard on a permanent basis, but it is just so comfortable! and not just the fact that they have spent a lot of time babysitting my rugrats. i guess it's home. i am never going to be at peace with living 3000 miles from my HOME, and this visit has probably shaken the resolve that i had when i first got here--the resolve i had reached concerning my own acceptance of the current location of my life. why can't i just accept things?????? blah. or at least quit whining.

one thing i'm looking forward to when i return to that sucking black hole of Utah is that my physical fitness queen sister-in-law (literally--she's won titles in national competitions) will be living nearby and can go with me to the gym and write me up a weekly menu to kick this stubburnly fat ass of mine into compliance with the skinny treaty of 2003, god damn it!!!!!

well, tomorrow it's lobster for dinner. and a tall order of sunshine on the side, please.

Saturday, August 09, 2003

went to the beach in spite of the weather and ended up getting rained on. s'okay. we buried feet in sand and climbed on rocks. i love this place!!!!!!!!!!!! met lots of nice people. tourists bonding in the rain at the beach. how motherfucking quaint.

funny how when you become a mother the sound of a speeding car makes a trickle of fear run down your spine as your mind races to recall whether or not the children could be in its path.....

yikes. kids just hit a sugar high. better go before they set the house on fire...
i saw the sun for about 5 seconds this morning--and it was breathtaking. now it is darker than ever outside. dammmmit.

i haven't had a new email in several days, so i'm wondering if something's wrong. i mean, come on spammers, where are you??? (just realized my hits went up so i'm changing some of the following) i usually get at least 10 lame ass "lisa, do you want your p e n i s to be larger?" emails...why, yes, in fact it's so small right now that i CAN'T EVEN FIND IT!! and for the record, no. i am not interested in a m a i l o r d e r b r i d e of ANY nationality. and i am not terribly interested in becoming a millionaire overnight for a small membership fee of 29.95. i mean really. i would say that becoming an instant millionaire is only worth about 29.50.

i think i have the greatest husband alive. guess what he's looking into? buying a Harley. he must really be getting desperate. i think it just might work, too. head is full of garbled half thoughts. and i haven't even been drinking! (for the first time in weeks...) i see my departure date looming ahead and it makes me very unsettled. i neeeeeeed a crystal ball--one that works, smartass.

also, when i got in my car to leave my friends house about an hour ago, i had one of those creepy feelings that there was a psycho killer hiding in my back seat...ever get that feeling? so, in the wisdom that comes with such advanced age as i have achieved, i talked myself out of it and the feeing went away after a couple of miles.....through foggy winding backwoods roads....the perfect setting for a horror film...then, when i got out of my car it was sort of back...a strange noise, a shadow....everything looked wrong inside the house--my kids' door was open, a lightbulb burned i decided it's freaky friday or something. well, whatever.

i can't believe i only have ten days left. and where the fuck is the sun????

i am craving something right now. someone. i don't know what or who though.....that was a weird feeling. good weird. now it's gone. i think it's because i want to be with someone i haven't even met yet. it was inverted missing--like, missingn someone from the future instead of the past, you know? i am wishing for large chunks of uninterupted time in which to work on "the novel". i love quotes. i love "Gene" who was the maitre d' at a classy little joint where i waitressed one summer....he was a whacko of the first order. see how that goes? free association, baby. and speaking of therapy techniques: i wish someone would give me the ink blot test, because i think they would find it amusing that every card they held up i would assign some romantic title--yup, two people kissing. that one's two people dancing. and that one's two lovers. it would be a hoot.

here's my greatest aspiration: that i will have sorted out what i really want out of life and where i want to go with my life by the time i'm 30. yes, i realize that's only two years away and there aren't enough hours in a day for me to solve the myriad problems i have in two short years, but still. it's good to have goals. so i've heard.

Friday, August 08, 2003

just got back from a night out with the best friend of the moment and her new love-er. we ran into her ex husband and his replacement woman who is sooo not cute. and I saw another ghost who could lead me to some information i'm craving, but i couldn't cross the line to actually talk to him. oh well. i shall remain uninformed then.

i had a lot of fun. and now i'll go to bed. oh yeah--we finally bought my kids some jackets for all this crappy weather, so i'm assuming that means it'll be sunny from here on out. murphy's law, etc. why didn't i think of that sooner?????

Thursday, August 07, 2003

i did it! i went to the beach today. it was foggy and gray and muggy, but the kids had fun.

Sun, oh sun.
wherefore art thou Sun?
I miss thee so.
I love thee so.
I'm going to lose my mind.

heh hehe. did you like my leetle poem? it doesn't ryhme. and the first two lines are a shakespeare rip off, but that's the beauty of extemporaneousness. so fuck off. fuck right the hell off. i want to write more poetry and i wonder if this is because of that site i linked yesterday or the day before or whenever--even if that is REAL poetry and mine would be just sillinessssss....

i am in maine
i am in pain
i love young men
i love my pen
i want it all
i want to fall
in love

hmmm.....silly and deep. not my favorite form of juxtaposition, but it'll do. hey--back off. i haven't written a single poem since sometime in high school when it was forced on me. i think i'm going to explore this medium. lucky you.

lucky you
i'm lucky too
i have it all
why do i bawl?

sweeeeeeeeet, this is totally fun!!! i love rhyming. it makes me giggle. let's get dirty...

let's get dirty
let's get clean
let's get wet
let's get mean

heee heee. that actually turned me on--how pathetic is that??? i'm laughing out loud to an empty room...(this next one needs a title, cuz the word play is just toooooo rich!!!)

Going Down

jezebel went to hell
i'll go there too
if you want me to.
what do i care?
it's much more fun
than going up.

watch out!! i'm on a roll....

roll those dice, mr. nice
what will you get?
win or lose?
it's all or nothing
wrong or right
this is not your lucky night

yeah, yeah, i could work on the rythm a bit, but that would mean i cared.

telephone ringing.
morning birds singing.
fuck em all
let me sleep!

hmm....what else? well, i guess that's all for now. someone tell me to call the man child. he's 23 now, so i don't know why i insist on calling him that. a 5 year age difference isn't much, the eternal scheme of things. har! that was funny. inside joke. anyway. i have a bunch of people left to see so i better get on it!

hubby loved metalica and mudvayne opened. he bought me a shirt like i asked him to. he said it's a tank top/belly shirt. um, great. he is the only person alive who has seen my belly since it carried twins and endured a c-section, so i don't know what kind of acid trip he must have been on to think the rest of the world needs to see that mess of stretch marks and flab. arrrrgh. oh well. i guess i can wear it as a hat.

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

it's a good day for fact i bet if i was un-lazy enough to check my horoscope (guffaws) then i am certain it would say today was a loquacious day for me. it started out rather slowly and gloomily...and how could i help but have some lingering negativity because the hubby is going to be mere feet away from the rock gods Metallica in several hours and i am not. second row center. fucker.


i called my friend B and we chatted and she told me about a couple of hot young suitors she's managed to wrangle up and that's always fun to hear about...

and then i talked to hubby and he gave me some rather interesting news, er, um, permission? let's just say we made an arrangement that has me a bit sparkly-eyed and breathless.

oh yeah, AND i worked out. gaaaaaawd that felt great. i really do love working out, it's just really hard to find the right time for it here. so consequentially i'm feeling a bit heifer-ish. all the fried seafood and dunkin donuts aren't helping matters, either...where the fuck was i when they were handing out self-control????? ack.

oh yeah, then i talked to Miss Pitt (not on the trampoline) and that is always a rush. we both firmly believe that the world revolves around us (respectively) and so it works out rather well because we understand each other's need for attention and stuff.

i will go to the beach tomorrow--rain or shine!! it's been almost a week and i'm going through some major withdrawal. i neeeeed to feel sand in my toes and the sun (or rain...) on my face and smell the salt and feel the wind....slurp. still need to go kayaking, too. maybe i'll call jasmine.
well well well. the kids are napping. my parents are both gone. hallelujah. i mean, just having some "space" is so oooo o oo nice at this point. living at someone else's house for a month is kind of wacky--even if it IS the house where i grew up....why did i think 5 weeks was a good amount of time for a visit????? DO NOT LET ME DO THIS AGAIN!!! it always sounds so good, from utah. aaaaaaahhhh, maine for a month, yes, that'll be nice.......then i get here and it rains and my kids are whiney and it rains and i miss my gym and it rains and my dad's testy. ack. speak of the devil. guess who just pulled into the driveway? why do i feel like a guilty teenager every time he comes home and "catches" me on the internet????? god damn it. i guess i'll go hide. blah. i hate days like this. maybe i'll go lay on the trampoline with Miss Pitt and bitch my guts out. his engine's still running. what in the bloody hell is he doing out there?

or maybe i'll call a friend in utah who i haven't talked to since i got here. later.
well here i am back to life without the hubby. i am actually sort of wishing i could have left with him, but i know i'll end up enjoying my last two weeks of vacation...well, "know" is a bit strong...i'd say it's more like think..or imagine...or hope...or have serious hardcore intense doubts!!!!! and typing with one hand while steadying an out of control rocking chair (powered by a reckless 3 year old) with the other--not so easy!! erg. okay, he's done. he's quizzing down grandpa on the exact properties of sunscreeen....So, i'm feeling a bit burned out on vacationland, if you must know. i think i've gained at least 50 pounds since i got here (well, closer to 5, but still!!) and it's raining and my husband just left and the kids are grouchy and frankly i need a vacatoin!! oh, wait. that'swhere i am. faaaaaack. i guess i'm just screwed. dad needs the phone. fucking modems.

Monday, August 04, 2003

i just found a cool site. as usual, i don't have much time to read it right now, but the few minutes i took to thumb through a couple of posts were highly enjoyable and since i don't have my own computer right now (too lazy to hook my laptop up to this dial up shit) i can't favorite list it and check it later, so in order to not lose track of it i'm linking it. so fuck off.
I know i'm the slacker queen. that's what vacation is for, though right?

so the reunion went well. ten years and some people haven't changed a bit. Some have changed for the better...others have changed for the worse...and some have just plain gotten a bit wild--which is always good! There was a sweet, quiet, little church girl (no, not me, a different one) who now sells boobs to cross dressers. good stuff! and there's a bully-dating super bitch who is now a massage therapist, new age peace lover. she seems really happy, so that's good. But some of the people who changed the most weren't even there. it was good. My husband was overwhelmed with pride in my accomplishment at pulling the thing off. i kick ass, what can i say?

We also explored my childhood memories at The Maine Lobster Festival, which is held in my hometown. I haven't been home during the festivities for 6 years, and i think i missed it that year cuz i was working, so it's been 8 years since i actually went inside the fairgrounds and ate fried dough and drank fresh squeezed lemonade...and nearly puked it all out when riding my first amusement park rides in 6 years! sheeeeeesh. i am frickin' old. we had so much fun though. and some good bands played and there were tours of the Navy ship which provides escorts for the Sea Goddess pageant contestants! i can't tell you how many girls lose their cherry to one of those guys every summer!! it's hilarious.

We saw The American Wedding last night. i am a huge fan of the American Pie movies and i have to say that overall this one was up to par. i thought the Stifler character was a little over the top at first and i wondered where the lacrosse dude was (Oz?) but the opening scene in the restaurant--lord have mercy! gooooood stuff.

Friday, August 01, 2003

"And speaking of shapes, now just suppose...! Suppose YOU were shaped like these...or those!...or shaped like a BLOGG! Or a garden hose!" ---from "The Shape of Me and Other Stuff" by Dr. Seus

Small towns are so great. everyone knows everyone--and everyone's business. it's hilarious. i had forgotten what it was like to live here.

Life is beautiful.