sssshhh.
yup.
(nodding slowly, head cocked)
aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.
the sound of an empty house.
nothing but me, the ceiling fan and the humming of the laptop.
and yes, quite possibly a spontaneously occuring orgasm just from the realization that i have a slice of freedom.
so here i sit.
cuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzz, what the bloody hell else would i be doing?
catching up on housework?
(snort, guffaw, etc)
puh-leez.
besides, i'm only a teensy bit behind today, and it's the weekend...
um.
checked some ebay auctions for a record player--gift for a friend who has been wanting one.
too many choices...hurts head....
then i realized it's possible i could either A. get a new one somewhere or 2. get one at a local antique shop, where i got some 70's fisher price toys.*
and again....head hurting.
but i will make it happen.
have to find a late birthday present for my pops, and get it and my mom's in the mail this week.
HOWEVER.
the post office is my nemesis.
i don't understand the psychological roots of this hangup, which is rare, since i spend so much time in self-reflection that i have figured out the underlying causes of most of my 8 billion neuroses....
anyway, it baffles me.
every time i have a gift to send to someone out of state the god damn post office thwarts me.
maybe i'll bomb it...
nah, it's been done.
wouldn't want to be a copy cat poser fakey wannabe.
i guess i'll just continue to boycott it, by way of procrastination and we'll be all set.
but still...I'd like to get to the bottom of this.
why the post office?
also, just as a note: when i went downstairs a few minutes ago (this reference may be freaking some of you out, since i usually have my laptop downstairs and may mention going up...also, i may need serious help if i think any of you have spatial relation issues concerning my whereabouts).
fuck.
where was i??
oh yeah.
i went downstairs and there was a St. Bernard on my front porch.
filling my front porch, frankly.
and looking in through the blinds with those big droopy sad eyes.
scared the fuck right out of me.
we have lots of tiny little dogs in my neighborhood; i'd never seen him before.
began to wonder if he had devoured them all and was looking for a main course....
okay, okay, i know st. bernards are supposed to be helpful and friendly and sweet.
but you just never know.
damn, that was weird.
my fingers just had a little fight over the backspace key and the 'o' key while i was typing "you"...
okay, it doesn't sound that weird, but trust me, it was.
i felt like i was possessed.
okay, maybe i've been reading Stephen King's On Writing for too long and I'm beginning to subconciously will myself to be him...
not feeling antsy today.
not feeling restless, or caged or curious.
not feeling wild or reckless or ready for change.
maybe it's the 16.5 orgasms i had last night.
or maybe it's the ever lower numbers on the scale (long live dr. atkins...er, well...may he rest in peace and thanks for the diet that worked for me, at least...)
could also be the fact that i'm sitting on the floor, laptop on a coffee table, and my ass is falling asleep.
ass??
hello, ass?
are you still there???
I CAN'T FEEL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...and i was talking to my ass.
greeaaaaat.
guess that's better than talking out of my ass, but only by a hair....
i may have mentioned that my best friend will be arriving for a few days next week.
and i may mention it about 46,000 more times--so get the fuck used to it.
anyway.
the story is: she's halfway through her phD here at the U of Utah, but she took this year off.
I've been sort of cuckoo without her around--no offense to the friends who are still here.
it's just that i have a different kind of friendship with each of my friends and when one goes away, i feel it.
so anyway.
we're going to try to squeez in a day trip to Moab.
did you hear me?
MOAB.
the reason for being.
the reason for loving something about Utah.
it is the place I go to feel free and clean and open and fresh and refreshed, of mind body and spirit.
i KNOW.
i know.
that sounds super duper new agey and gay-ass-y.
well, fuck off.
it's how i feel, and that's valid, buddy--gay-ass or not.
damn, i'm ON today.
and i'll tell you why: cuz ain't no one around to crawl up my ass or tug on my shirt sleeve.
i love my lil peas in a pod, my lil matched set of monsters--right to pieces, i do.
but sometimes i forget to balance my time well, so that i am fighting over this and them.
more deep breaths.
let go of selfishness a little....
and my ass is asleep again.
it's a vicious circle.
my other best friend started a brand new baby blog yesterday!!
I'm so excited.
it's going to be good.
at least that's what i'm telling her...
just kidding!!
she's much cleverer than I, so hold on to your hats and try to keep up!
I told her i wouldn't link her for a few days, to let her get limbered up, so watch for it.
also, we need to get some kinks worked out of the template i've downloaded for her, and install her comments and stuff...
or i could make her do it all, learning along the way, like i did.
but, nah.
this is more fun for me.
and not everything thinks a killer circuit training routine and writing html are "fun" as i like to call them both...
p.s. this reminds me that i badly need a thesaurus.
i use "fun" for everything.
to be fair, i only use it when i actually consider the subject a fun one, or, of course, in a sarcastic sense.
but the friend i've been taking to the gym seems to think it's hilarious that i call every excercise i show her "fun".
well!!
to me, they are fun.
wow, look at the time.
better get ready for the return of the troops.
hope you all had a great weekend.
big, wet, deep kisses to you all----
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