Monday, September 15, 2003

all doped up and no place to go....

I just popped a presciption pain pill.

Lisa! Are you in pain? you may ask.


Well, are you one of those people who take pain pills recreationally? you may then ask.

No, no. Not I.

In fact, I filled my prescription for unithroid which regulates my thyroid. I got home, popped one, put the bottle away and started making dinner. While I waited for the meat to thaw, I decided to be amitious and fill my weekly pill holder thingy. As i poured the pills into my palm I noticed....hmm...they're a bit whiter, a bit larger....wonder if doc changed my dosage already....looked at the bottle...WHAT THE FUCK?????? HOLY LORD!!!!!!!! The first thing i noticed was the doctor's name. not my doctor. scanned the patient name--most assuredly NOT my name. eyes darted feverishly to the drug name--not my drug. I dialed the pharmacist, heart racing. as it rang, i read the instructions, and relaxed a bit--"take once ecvery blah blah hours for severe pain." phew, well at least i hadn't just unintentionally enlarged my penis, or stopped myself from having a stroke, or god knows what else. so i'm thinking, emotional distress lawsuit, perhaps? that was fucking freaky, man. I'm feeling very comfortable....soft around the edges....and my mouth is getting dry...and i was giong to bake an apple pie tonight. dammmit. i could sue them just for messing THAT up, i tell you what.

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