Friday, January 09, 2004

mmmm salad.

**For Fantasy Friday, see the next post down (it's a keeper)**

so here's my big secret that i promised not to tell anyone for at least a week.
that was yesterday.
I'm plunging feet first into the Atkins pool...
i've always thought this was a stupid way to try to lose weight...
but my husband was determined to do it, and i'll be damned if a) he loses weight without me and b) i have to prepare separate food for him.
i mean, please.
shopping and cooking are a big enough pain in my ass as it is.
so anyway.

it's day 2.
or 3?
don't remember.
it's not as hard as being on a "diet".
but it is really weird to try to adjust my eating habits to exclude foods with carbs.
i love carbs.
which is why i think this will work well for me.
but for now, i think my body is like, super duper confused.
where the fuck is the dessert???
and are we supposed to be eating this much fat???
actually, it's pretty cool because you can buy all this non-carbohydrated stuff to replace breads and cookies and stuff.
for like a million bucks.
but it's nice to know that they're there if i can't handle going without a cookie for another minute.
i can still have them without fucking up the whole diet thang.


so now you know.
and you'll be hearing more about it than you care to, i'm fairly certain.
but whatever.
at least you can all laugh at me when i fail.
i'll be sure to let you know when that's official so you can all commence the laugh party...
and i hope you do laugh--hard.
i mean really hard.
like so hard you pee your pants.
or cry.
or get a side ache.
or something else bad.
cuz if i have to endure failure you can at least join me in my misery.
even while you're laughing??
what the fuck am i talking about?
i have made no sense whatsoever for this entire day.
but i'm okay with that.
i wouldn't turn down any mood stabilizing drugs though.
or any psychedelic ones, for that matter.

i'm watching The Apprentice right now.
kind of fun stuff.
reality tv.
who can stand that shit???

so wish me luck and don't talk about bread, cakes, pies, cookies, brownies, popcorn, chips, tortillas, pancakes, waffles...
aw fuck.
i'm making myself crave stuff.

and i'm making all of you doubt my sanity--more than you already did, i mean.
it's a full moon, though, so it's not my fault.
i believe the moon makes us all a little crazy(er than we were before).
and to all you nay sayers out there:
and we're back to the sanity questioning.

I forgot how much I love Fight Club.
now that's a fucking movie.
...and some worse sanity issues than i'll ever experience.
so there.
lick me.

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