it is time to address a serious issue

i have a problem.
i guess admitting it is a start...
see, i have an inbox full of unanswered emails.
whenever i sit down at the desk, determined to answer them...
well, i check the blog.
and once that ball's rolling there's no telling when it'll stop.
but my determination fades as fast as a spray on tan, so there they sit.

so anyway...
mondays are cool.
except today.
i actually got out of bed before my kids came to get me.
they were up though.
up?
up to no good, is what!!
they had flushed a ball down the toilet, and flooded the bathroom.
two inches of water.
soaked through the carpet in the hall.
tracked all over the house.
i put their asses in severe timeout while cleaning it up.
crying.
me, not them.
i was having a panic attack about the germs getting spread through the house, on top of the enormous task facing me on an empty stomach.

then i discovered about 30 rusty nails and screws that they had dropped into the liquid fabric softener dispenser in my washer.
how?
cuz there was rusty water dripping all over the freshly washed towels.
towels i had used to mop up the fucking bathroom.

any of you out there with no kids: take my advice and do not attempt it.
use three forms of birth control, or better yet, just stop having sex.
not worth it.
anyway, the holes were barely big enough to get the screws into the dispenser, so i had to shake them out, one by one.
fuck.

so.
i guess it's setting my alarm for 6 and sleeping in the living room until they get up.
with a shotgun at my side.
little varmints.

so yeah, not only did they go to timeout for 6 years, but their new wonderful playroom is locked for the day.
no movies, no toys.
yeah, i know.
it's as much of a punishment for me, but that's okay.
i deserve a spanking for that.
which reminds me...
hubby was saying he'd spank them if something they had gone to time out 27 times in a row for happened again.
so they asked, "mommy, did you spank daddy last night?"
coincidentally...