too tired for things

and metalica's monday.
and i don't feel very rock n roll right now.
i feel...
like opera in a bubble bath.
maybe a good cry?
just for all the things...
for my dad, for C.O., for J & A, for B, for my mom, for D, for me.

but at least the house is clean.
and the kids are asleep.
and the husband will be here in a couple of hours.
i've missed him too much.
i am a little more clingy than i usually admit...
maybe i just like having his heavy body flung over mine in the night, so i can't move and get annoyed...
and maybe i would rather pick up after him than not have him here.
and maybe i am just having a stupid pity party for no reason.
and maybe i've exhausted myself when i should have been refreshing myself.
i don't know why i feel so sad.
i have fun, amazing, wonderful HAPPY things on the near horizon.
two new things added to my list for the weekend, btw...
both fun.
but i still want to cry.
and i want to go for a run.
the air is so crisp and cool--
it snowed for a minute today.

and to top it all off, i promised to mention a very worthwhile fundraiser,
and i forgot to...
Cure Autism Now

The proceeds will go to further the search for causes and cures for autism.
Autism is a devastating disease affected over 1.5 American children
and their families. 1 in every 250 children is newly diagnosed with
autism.

i think my first born twinlet has violence issues...
he shoved his brother today and he landed face first at the edge of the desk.
big bloody gash.
i'm beginning to think he may have needed stitches.
if he gets a scar from this i'm going to hate myself.
then, tonight at Wendy's (having a nice healthy dinner...ugh)
he plowed through a door and knocked a little girl over.
it was a glass door--he should have seen her.
poor little thing...
i spoke to her mother, apologizing, asking if she was okay--
and i almost cried.
the mother was very sweet and said her daughter does the same things...
bah.

i guess the good news about the range of emotions i experience is that they are varied and the lows don't really feel like lows...
they're just....
sighs.
that's how it feels.
so, i'm sorry for whining.
what a nice way to cap off a fantasy-less friday.
i look at it this way--
it's a friday night, so not too many people will stumble across this.

and tomorrow?
PIE NIGHT.
at my brother's house.
pies and pies and pies......
can you say "light dinner, early"?
make way for pie, baby!!
...oh, and it's looking like i'll be posting that titty shot...
god damn fat-ass.