i have a lot to say for a woman with no mouth

okay, FINE.
i have a mouth.
but sometimes, i start a sentence and there's only one way to finish it.
whether it's true or not, it just has to be said.
so fuck you.
and the horse you rode in on.
only...
i've never quite grasped the meaning of that expression.
in the earlier years, i didn't give it much thought--
probably because my morals hadn't yet eroded to such a thorough extent, at that point.
but now???
jesus christ superstar!
that strikes me as a very filthy thing to say.
and it reminds me of something a guy said the other night--
"if i was a woman, i'd fuck a horse! have you seen those things??"
well.
that's too sick for comment, frankly.

and good morning to YOU!!!
how'd that go with your coffee?
little bestiality over bagels?
bah.

let's start over.
something pleasant and breezy and fresh and bright.
something warm and soft.
i could tell you about the house we want.
but i'll wait until we make an offer.
and i don't want to jinx it all...
so i'm going to stop right there.
it has a jetted tub with an in-fucking-credible view, though, for one thing.
and it's twice the size of this joint.
twice the price, too.
heh.
but soooo very worth it.

i remember how it was with you, in the beginning,
and sometimes it makes me hurt...
in a good way.
that not knowing, but yet, somehow...
still knowing you so well.
the passion.
the rollercoaster of it--
needing you more when i had you than when i didn't,
even though that seemed impossible and inside out.
needing you differently, i suppose.
needing you with an emptiness when we were apart,
and needing you with an immediacy when we were together.
and it seems like such a distant memory.
and it is, i suppose.
but sometimes i wake up and you're still lingering behind my eyelids.
and i reach out.

happy monday, boys and girls.
try a new position today.