god DAMN it

i am LIVID right now.
i just wrote a post--
a pretty damn good one,
considering it was about nothing.
and my son pushed the power button on my computer.
he's lucky i don't believe in beating children.
i sure feel like beating something, though.
got any meat?
heh.
well, at least now i'm smiling again.

in the missing post,
i was saying something about something.
and some other stuff.

I am a busy little bee today.
only not really...
i mean, shit--no yellow stripes,
no stinger.
but i am a busy woman.
it's just that somehow, that doesn't sound as cool.

so last night was low key, early to bed, coupla orgasms, and a movie.
so no tales of drunken joy/pain to report.
booooo-ring.
no hangover to complain about.
no smoke clinging to my hair.
no wondering if i left my ID in the pants pocket that i just threw in the wash.
just up at 6:30 and being a good little industrious girl and getting my chores done.
6 fucking thirty.
SIX god damn thirty.
I'm going to kill whoever's responsible for the time change bull shit.

so here's the deal:
if i don't lose 10 pounds by christmas,
i'll post a fully nude picture of my tits.
oh, wait...
did i just invite you all to send me chocolates??
scratch that.
if i don't lose 10 pounds by christmas...
i have to...
shit, i don't know.
i have to do something really bad.
like be fatter than i want to be, i guess.
ha.

i am thinking of putting in a shower cam, though.
well, not really.
but my husband has a mirror in there for shaving,
and when i watch myself washing my hair
i always think of sharing it with you fellas.
(i love that word, by the way--"fellas")
just my head and shoulders, though.
not the shampoo, the body parts.
eh, who am i kidding??
i'm a big talker.
all mouth, no action.
i think MY mouth writes checks my body can't cash.
or something.
stole that from Top Gun,
but i might have gotten it wrong.

anyway.
we're going to go house hunting today.
wish us luck.
or don't.