Tuesday, May 24, 2005

This blog needs an enema!!

or a really great Batman theme song, playing in the background.
I feel like letting out the primalest of primal screams--
cleansing my whole body with the release of pent-up angst, worry, fear, sadness--
but I'm not sure any of those things are really inside me.
I need music.

I have new distractions.
there is this AMAZING invention called "television"....
it's hard to explain, really--similar to the theater, but oh-so different
and it's quite entertaining--
considering it requires that you sit still...
and then there is something to which I fear I may become addicted beyond the possibility of rehabilitation.
PS2 Star Wars III
and I'm not even good at it!!
I can manage to walk and swing my light saber at the same time,
and that's about it...
see, I am sooooo uncoordinated,
that the only coordination I'm capable of is color.
oh, and making corny jokes, but I don't think that has anything to do with it.
anyway, it's really fun.
and it's helping allay my burning impatience to SEE the movie.
fucking husbands and their golf trips.
nah, I'm really excited for him--
he deserved a break today, and by god, if McDonald's wasn't going to give it to him,
I'm just glad he could go golf in Oregon for 5 days.
but I miss him.
and so do the kids--
"Why isn't Daddy ever here?"

and I have my orientation for college on thursday.
during which I will register for classes!
would somebody please remind me that I not only want to do this, but will kick ass at it?
ok, thanks.
At least I'll be too busy to whine.
so there's that to look forward to.
and all the pretty little 18-22 year old boys...
eye candy, just like the gym--
never fear.
I'm waaaay too shy in real life to get into trouble.

so, I met one of my neighbors last night.
the older guy with the Harley.
he was offering to run a little boot camp for my (UNRULY??) children.
in a good-natured way.
at least, I didn't take offense.
his wife came out
(to investigate, I think...)
they have 6 grown kids, so I suppose he might know a thing or two about keeping kids in line.
they're all yours, buddy!
see ya next week.

actually, he was telling them that if they don't stop throwing dirt at our house,
they'll have to come do chores for him.
this morning, they eagerly asked
when do we get to go to that guy's house and do chores?
so maybe this gives you an idea of why they're hard to punish.
My kids might just be the greatest inventions on the whole damn planet.
not that I'm objective, or anything.

I stayed up til nearly 2am, working on my Cafe Press store.
I finally figured out a way to get the printing to appear a little larger--
see, I started this thing back in October,
but gave up when I couldn't get my slogans to appear large enough to read.
this was a fearful and exhausting effort, culminating in the physical removal of Photoshop from my computer and throwing it out the window of a moving car.
I have now discovered that Adobe Illustrator works a bit better.
and there'll be no stopping me, now!!
shit, I think I might have even ordered one of my shirts.
oh yeah--
I did discover that the shirt I was so proud of comes in 3 colors,
and the graphic I added does NOT match the two colors I wasn't aware of.
so, it's back to the fucking drawing board.
ok, so I'm pretending to be exasperated,
but really I'm thrilled!!!
it gives me SOMETHING TO DO.
oh, how monotonous my life is.......
woe is motherfucking ME.
I bet you all feel just gobs and gobs of sympahty for me, don't you?

and I haven't turned on any music yet...
oh, maybe because I've been interupted 6 or 34 times since I started writing.
but at least I managed to write something.
...I think.
but I'm not going back to check.
I also think that if you're too stupid to figure out how to buy songs from Napster
that you shouldn't.
I'll just continue downloading them and listening to them here.
why is there not an obvious way to buy downloaded songs???
I did, however, find a fucking fantastic playlist, and I'll be happy with it as immobile music, for now.
who needs mobile music???
me, but that's beside the point, I guess.

I think that you'll be glad to know--
I'm finished now.
I will go, and leave you each to your respective days.
full of paperwork,
lunch dates,
play dates,
James Taylor,
James Brown,
Jesse James,
Jesse Jackson--
pick your flavor, kids.
and I'll try not to lick any hot boys while I'm at the gym.
(it won't be hard, don't worry)
I'm really going now...

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