Sunday, May 22, 2005

I found my church--

and it's a big one--
yeah...the earth, the sunshine, the clouds, lightening--
my ocean.
the mountains, valleys, canyons, rivers, lakes, fields, flowers, trees,
animal-mineral-vegetable, god dammmit!
all of it.
and I have spent this day in worship.
not prostrate and silent,
not in a stuffy building on a hard bench,
not singing off-key, the words of humility-faith-hope-and-charity.
not bound by my sins to the fear of one diety.
but in the most perfect and special of all places of worship.
the sun filled me up,
the joy on my little one's faces did more than all the hail marys in italy--
refreshing and healing my soul to a point of exultation angels never feel.
the cold river licking at my feet reminded me I'm alive.
is why I'm alive.

so I guess you could say I had a good day.
i'm a little sunburned,
a lot tired,
and so full of life and love that I could just burst.
I wish it was Wednesday.

so anyway...
back to earth?
standing in that fucking clear, sharp melted snow, as it rushed past us, and over the rocks--
my little Oliver turned to me and said--
(but the look on his face told me more)
"Mom, thank you for bringing me here! I love you!"
I read on his face that he felt the same as I did.
"Does it make your heart happy to be here, baby?"
"yes, mom! it makes my heart happy!! and my body happy. my body wants to come back here a lot more times--I think it'll ask its mom if it can."
the only thing that kept me tethered to earth right then was the fact that my foot was stuck in a crevice.
just kidding--
I don't know how I managed not to float off into a cloud of delirium,
and join the parasailers in the sky above Squaw Peak--
damn, they looked beautiful.
I will be up there someday.

days like this shouldn't end.

oh, I have pictures!!!
of the waterfall--
it's not usually there, but we are having flooding problems so they opened the dam
("Is that a god dam?")
and let it flow.
the water comes out of a hole in the side of the mountain, and creates a second little river, running on the same general path as the real river.
(which I hardly consider a real river, because it's not very wide. but it is long...)

If you want a favor, now's probably a good time--
I'm so damn full (of it).

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