sometimes writing a post feels....

like a chore.
sometimes it feels like bourbon over 4 ice cubes in a pretty glass.
sometimes if feels like shopping at a breezy, over-priced boutique.
sometimes it feels like having blood drawn, so they can find out what's wrong with you.
sometimes, writing a post is like eating german chocolate cake.
sometimes it's easy.
sometimes it's loud and chaotic around me and the words filter out through the mess.
sometimes it feels like sipping chicken soup from a large ceramic bowl.
sometimes it feels like lying in a hammock listening to leaves rustling.
sometimes i sleep late.

I awoke very disoriented today, 7:30ish.
partly because i stayed up too late.
and partly because my husband's not working today.
but he went golfing at 6:30am so he wasn't in bed either.
and then the garbage truck went by.
but it's saturday...
AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
dammit.
shit, hell, piss, etc.
...I lie in bed for a moment, cursing--with a sigh.
then i decided to take the can out anyway in hopes of the garbage man being nice and coming back for it.
as i'm wheeling it out--
my neighbor hollers over "they already came by, Lisa"
(how the fuck do you know my name? we've spoken twice--who has a memory like that?? what are you stalking me??)
oh did they? (no shit, that's why i'm down here) well, sometimes they come back around, so i'll leave it anyway. thanks!
have i ever mentioned i'm ornery in the morning?

so then i checked my email and went back to bed.
having the craziest dreams i've had in a while.
including one where i was caught on film, by one of my best friends, taking my shirt off.
she was excited to show me the tape, but i was mortified, and ran from the room crying.
turns out, this tape had won me an invitation to dance with a prestigious company of dancers...???? (no, not strippers) and i began to consider this offer...even my mother and sister were on board, which is pretty much proof that i was dreaming (if the rest of it wasn't enough) because they are both PRUDES to the nth degree. anyway...the woman who would do my official audition walked past me on the stairs and said, "You don't look Latina." i stuttered a reply, not knowing what the "correct" answer was. then ended up in the bathroom...where there was a basket of designer t-shirts and another full of shoes. so, of course--i took some. feeling very sneaky and rather white-trashy. all the while wondering what in the bloody hell i was going to do when they found out i can't dance.

sweet.

so...
if you're ever out of psychedelic drugs, and in need of some--
just climb into my head.

today is a nice, hot day.
hopefully we'll go do something nice in the sun.
the mr.'ll be home momentarily and we'll make a plan.
i'm thinking...
day in the sun, evening out.
sun kissed skin is my best suit.
it makes me miss my natural hair color, though...
oh, i love the dark color, but when i'm natural...
the sun makes sweet love to my hair, too.
oh well.
i also wish it would GROW.
it used to grow very fast.
but i think coloring it has damaged it just enough to slow it down.
grrrrrr.

okay, i'm off.
hope you all had a fabulous holiday weekend.

*****
update:
I stepped on a tack.
god DAMN that hurts.
and i hopped around on one foot, until my husband got home so he could take it out for me.
he then reminded me that we have a family bbq at 4:30.
which is nice, but it sort of screws up my whole "today is a blank canvas" idea.
oh well.
i like family BBQs
especially when i get to make a potato salad to take.
YUMMMMM!!!
(yes, i'm serious.)
okay.
that's all.
i will stop torturing you and go live my life.
or something.