i feel like it's been weeks since my last post

i guess time flies when you're having an enema.
or fun.
or something...

i am going to attempt to cut my kids' hair today.
why?
because i'm a glutton for punishment.
and because they usually thrash and cry and whine if i take them to a salon*.
so, i'll let you know how THAT goes.
...if i survive.

yesterday i went to Becky's house.
and sat in the sun, and the shade, and the kids' pool.
she was a goooooood hostess:
she provided some drinks, and some dinner and a lingere show.
you guys missed out.
okay, okay--so if you're a guy, i'm sure you're picturing us trying on lacey things and having a pillow fight and making out.
that's not what happened, but if you're enjoying that vision--please, feel free to endulge in such a thought.
nah, it was more like, she took the bag of new stuff out and showed me each item--as we ooh-ed and aaah-ed over the push up qualities of one and the see-through qualities of another.
and the best part?
the kids (we each have 2 boys) played so well together the whole time.
just played played played.
(and no, we were not drunk at any point.)
it was a good day.
(attention: slightly serious stuff to follow)

tomorrow is my sons' 4th birthday!!
i'm so excited!
we're getting them new bikes and a sandbox and some other stuff.
i can't wait to see them riding BIG bikes...
they're growing up.
sniff.
and--woooooooo hoooooooo!
and another sniff...
it still amazes me how tiny they started out, how fragile.
7 weeks early.
4 pounds each.
on respirators and with feeding tubes...
i didn't even see oliver until the next day--
and i was only shown max for a fleeting moment.
when they pulled oliver out, i heard a distant voice say, "...not breathing..."
the drugs for dulling the pain of surgery kept me from panicking.
then i heard a tiny cry and a gore covered max was brought to my view.
then gone.
then i was taken to recovery where i shuddered with cold and couldn't form coherant thoughts.
i hate pain medication.
i tried to stop taking it the first day, but then i couldn't walk, so i had to start up again.
getting wheeled up to the newborn intensive care unit to see my pair of little red bugs.
and finally holding them...
so carefully, their dozen or so wires not making it easy.

Max

Oliver

going home without them, 3 days later.
driving to the hospital 3 times a day to nurse them.
or attempt to.
they didn't ever figure out how to eat.
premies don't have the hunger instict, they told me.
feeling lucky that my boys were so healthy.
finally taking them home...on the date my doctor had set for inducing me.
the day they should have been born.
3 1/2 weeks later.
please at the "cordless" versions of our tiny sons.
not having a frigging clue what to do with them when we got home.

first week home

and now?
you wouldn't know they were born a day early.
such rugged, smart little monsters.
they sure did sleep a lot back then.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.........
(and i still don't have a frigging clue what to do with them!)

so it's off to the gym with my fat ass.
hope you're all having a great day.

and maybe...
juuuust maybe...
i'll write a decent post at some point in the near future.
(do NOT hold your breath)
_______________________________
*perhaps i should try a "saloon" next time?