Happy Pioneer Day

Little Utah state holiday...
parades and fireworks.
woo.

last night my husband went to his brother's house for the evening.
i was soooo excited to have a few hours to myself.
and what happened?
i putzed around on the internet and went to bed at 11.
what a waste!!!
i had big plans, too.
oh well.
at least i enjoyed the time i spent awake.
and, hell--i definitely enjoyed the sleep.
even if i did have freaky and disturbing dreams.

so here i sit, with nothing to say.
and places to go.
today i would say, "i have run out of things to say"
but in 5 minutes that would change, so i won't bother saying it.

i am bored, and boring.
i am content, and restless.
i am amused, and amusing.
i am selfless and selfish.
i am self-aware, and oblivious.
i am shy and bold.

once upon a time,
(or maybe twice...)
i had something to say.
but not today.
did i just rhyme?
i don't have the time...
shit, i did it again.
please take away my pen!
okay, this is silly.
(kinda like jennifer tilly.)
yes, i know i'm a dork.
but at least i eat with a fork.
should i beat this dead horse?
answer anything but "of course".
should i finish this post?
and go eat some toast?
are you still reading?
that's what i'm needing.
and also a back rub,
and a soak in the tub.
poetry this is not,
but don't be such a snot.
it's still kinda fun
even if I'm no nun.
rhyming and rhyming,
without proper timing--
i'm addicted, it seems
so please mute your screams.
(--of agony or mirth?
this must feel like giving birth.)
so stop reading, you twit!
no one made you do it.
so stop writing, you say?
well, that sounds okay.

jumping jesus on a pogo stick!!
that was scary.
it was sort of like being possessed...
but not by one of those evil spirits, like in the exorcist--
more like the spirit of McKauly Caulkin in Home Alone...
devilish, but not in a bad way.
heh.

well, i am off to do my one good deed of the year--
help my mother in law clean the new house she's moving into.
it'll be fun.
or something.

but please, promise me you'll have a fun day without me.
eat something sinful,
drive too fast (even if it's just for a minute)
and think the filthiest, nastiest thoughts you possibly can.
preferably not all at the same time, but, i'm not one to be bossy--
do what you want!!!