What the hell's the matter with me???

I just got home from a wild and wonderful night out with the girls.
and where do i go first?
not the bathroom, although, i do have some beer that could use a new home....
not my bed, although i do have some sleep to sneak up on and hit over the head and drag back to my cave....
and not the kitchen, although i could use a vitamin and some more water to restore my body's balance.

hell no.
I plop my reeking-of-smoke ass right down in front of this crack habit of mine.
(and was that a joke, cuz i might be a little buzzed?? i said ass and crack...)
we had some fun, i tell you what.
but you know--what happens in Payson stays in Payson.
or some shit.
no, i guess that's vegas.
well then i guess i'll tell you:
we drank beers, played pool, threw darts (they rarely hit the target, though) and let some cute little just-turned-21 boys flirt with us.
they were like eager little puppy dogs--and just as cute.
but in that puppy dog way.
funny kids.
we let them hang around because they were just cute little boys.
the older dudes?
cold shoulder avenue for you!
and then there was the woman--
you know the one.
the woman who told us all of her deepest and darkest woes in the first 5 minutes of meeting her.
sharing a pool table can be hazardous to your health.
they should post signs like that.
although she did point to me and say, "you were a psych. major."...
she got that right, but then she said my friend was "just out of high school"....
turned 29 last month, but you were really close lady.
this was followed by her proclamation that she has an alcohol problem,
and she was dry for 10 months, but now that she's going to jail she figured what the fuck? i'll drink.
and followed that with the story of a horrible car crash and the death of her sister--
which i believe were two separate incidents, but who really knows...
good times.

and the other girl who came with us called her mom to join us.
her mom.
which kicks ass--and who kicks ass, incidentally.
whoa.
want to know the coolest part about that?
she was married to my hot neighbor until about a year ago.
yeah.
he's way younger than her, just to clarify.
40's i think.
anyway, the girls thought it would be funny if we told her about my little crush.
it wasn't.
i mean, she was cool, but i do not think she was amused.
oh well.
not my fault...
and another girlfriend joined us for an hour or so, but had to head home early because she had spent the day in Moab.
yeah.
I almost made out with her just for saying that.
almost.

we had a good time, nothing crazy, just girls laughing and drinking.
no flashing, no intrasexual make-out sessions.
but still fantastic fun.
we did, however, make out with every guy in the bar.
even the toothless dude who was incoherant except for the phrase: nah, man, i'm not drunk, it's acid.
sweet.
oh yeah, and the old dude with the shirt on that said, "You have nice legs--what time do they open?"*
it brought back such fond memories of my night on the town with another girlfriend in another town (home) where some really hot (staggering, slobbering old) men used that line on my friend and i.
aaah, good times.
that guy also told me that i'm "prettier than a bug's ear."
well, that's a relief.
my response (although directed at someone else) was this:"awesome, cuz bug's ears are freaking hot!"
yeah.
almost wanted to go home with that one.
a keeper, surely.

I'm secretly hoping to not get enough sleep ever again in my life.
and i'm on a roll...

oh yeah, earlier in the evening, my mother in law took all of her daughters in law out to dinner.
it was sort of a farewell to one who is moving away for the summer, and an early celebration of mothers day.
cuz she values us as the mothers of her grandchildren.
it's cute.
her youngest works at the restaurant we went to, so that was added cuteness factor--
and his girlfriend or ex, i'm not sure which week we're on...
and it was BYU graduation today so the place was packed.
good thing we made a reservation.
yay us.
good food, good times.

well, i believe i've milked this teet dry.
over and out, good buddy.
____________

*not to be outdone by last week's t-shirt: "It ain't gonna lick itself"....good god, i don't imagine it is....


*********
update: 8am--and then, when i got in my bed my husband woke up and we talked and laughed until 5am.
fuck this.
i definitely need to stick to my 3am bedtime.