why am i not asleep yet????? i'm ruther sleepy. and wishing there was a god damn motherfucking blockbuster here. or at least somewhere to rent a video (no, not a DVD--my cute little parents haven't evolved that far yet) after like, 9pm. or for that matter, i wish SOMETHING was open past 9pm. all the shops on main st. close at 5 and most restaurants close at 9....even Wally World closes at 10. I am sooooo spoiled by the city life. why do i want to return here??????? i love it madly, but i know it would drive me--er, well, mad if i actually moved back here....nah, it would jsut be an adjustment.....

i just realized that i have had crap for sleep too many nights in a row and i have nothing much to say....no!! wait, that couldn't be true. let's try this again.

fuck. i felt some words inside for a minute there, but they dissipated. (a few moments pass...)

I found a local publisher, a little place dealing with local writers that i can push myself on when i am ready to seek such services...will one of you please remind me to finish the damn novel???? i think when i get back to the bar-less prison which IS utah, i'll be ready to tuck in and get serious about it again. speaking of utah.....blah. i hate it so. i just realized what a mother fucking beautiful play on words that was!!!! see...utah doesn't have very many bars--of the alcohol vending variety, so it's bar-less in two ways. hee hee.

Zack morris gettin' it on with pink bra girl on NYPD Blue....oh come on, you watched Saved by the Bell, too--admit it!!! not sure why the TV's even on....ah, that's better. my throbbing, pounding, pulsing head thanks me for standing up and finding the remote......

okay. time to go check a few favorite blogs, my two email accounts and then agonize over the decision about whether or not to call my husband. see, yesterday when we talked he said it just bums him out to talk to me cuz it reminds him that i'm not there and makes him miss me even more. i feel kind of bad for him, cuz i'm having lots of fun here. i do miss him, too, though. soooo....i asked him if he would prefer that i not call, because i don't want to make him sad, but then i'mi afraid if i DON'T call he'll be sad that i didn't call. or suspicious, more likely....he's a bit paranoid....blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!