Sunday, August 24, 2003

ah ha

(no, not george michael's band from the 80's.)

i just rediscovered my voice. the one that can't be heard above the cacophone of sound created by my twinners.

and i don't care what anyone says: Old School (Will Farrell, etc) is hilarious. "I'm here for the gang bang." snicker. i love luke wilson. and the dude from Swingers....vince vaughn. THAT was a motherfucking great movie.

what the hell is my problem??? why can't i just be satisfied with life the way it is? i feel like the dudes in old school, sometimes. i want to go live in a frat house (errr...well...) and party and be entirely, utterly, and unguilitily selfish! i want to do whatever the hell i want, whenever i want. and this makes me feel massive amounts of guilt. i'm just really bad at adjustments. i'm home. and home is good, but it's so suburban.

i am an idiot. in more ways than i can count, frankly, but today i'm an idiot because i should have registered for school. at least a creative writing class. i need it. i need to learn more things about how to write a novel properly. i worry all the time that it's not going to be good enough. i guess that's life.

while shopping for a new quilt and some (400 thread count!!) sheets for my new bed, we passed Pier 1. and i smiled to myself.

i'm a bad wife. i don't do enough of the things my husband wants me to do, while he's bending over backwards for me. see, it's back to that selfish problem again. he's so great. i just hope he can put up with me a bit longer, until i pull my head out of my ass, or whatever. maybe i'll write some more little stories here. i need to do something to stir it up.

seriously. i'm going to have to change the name of this blog to "Whiney and Boring Housewife". fuck.

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