Saturday, September 24, 2005

Whose underwear is that, and how did I end up with it?

Oh, why don’t I learn?
Hangovers blow.
But I seem to be getting used to them.
I remember it used to sort of disgruntle me—
In a shocked manner.
But I’m not surprised by them anymore, so they don’t bother me as much.
Yes, I do all the smart things, like drink a bunch of water, eat, take vitamins.
I have tried taking whatchamacalit headache crapola, but that shit never works for me, sober or stoned or anywhere in between.
But anyway.
I had a fun night, just me and Becky.
We thought there would be karaoke (or keriaki, as I called it at one possibly-inebriated moment)
But instead there was a band.
They did lots of classic rock and modern rock covers.
They were oldish, but hottish, so that worked out ok.
A bike club was there…
Yes…it made my heart race.
Yes, they were all oldish and NOT hottish, which is about right.
I’m wondering where my biker fetish came from, really.
Ok, ok, if you promise not to tell my husband, a couple of them were pretty damn handsome.
One of them even invited Becky to come over and screw everybody so that was a compliment
I also made the mistake of saying that Harleys are my heroin,
When I really meant to say they are aphrodisiacal.
Dude misunderstood me… “You have heroin?”
He sounded a little hopeful, if you ask me.
But what do I know?
So there was some idiot who thought becky was lying about having had surgery recently in order to not dance with him.
Well, she wasn’t lying about the surgery but she just didn’t want to dance with him.
There was a girl there who could move like one of P Diddy’s backup girls,
And a guy who used to be a stripper at a club—
Still does private engagements, wink-wink.
No, we didn’t get his card.
There was also, I believe, some guy with a camera phone with cock shots he was showing around, but sadly I missed out.
And something led me to come up with my newest euphemism:
Aw, go fuck a bear in a bathroom.
Don’t ask me why it’s funny to me, but it is.
There were lots of good songs, not too much drunkenness,
and lots of time spent outdoors on the patio so there was less of a “I’ve been smoking all night” feeing about my hangover.
So maybe that’s why it’s better than usual…
Not that stuff I said before about something or something else and stuff.

Ok, I’m going to go (attempt to) have a peaceful afternoon,
and attempt to get started on my 6-15 page end of unit essay
and attempt to….nothing else, just sorta liked being on a roll.
Also, I get to go on a date with my faucking (that was a typo, but I LIKE it) handsome, wonderful husband tonight.
He better shmooz me.
If he wants to get laid that is.
Yes, that was a joke.
He will very gladly pound the hangover straight out of me and into next Tuesday sometime.
I think I’ll post a fantasy soon.
I thought of one.

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