Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Ok, I better post now--

before it's too late.
er, no.
just better to post now so I don't stress about it in the morning.
and yes, I do stress about it.
in the morning.
well, not every morning.
just on school mornings.

ok, whatever.
I am pretty sure that I have nothing more to write for today, anyway.

I had a great workout today, and am still scoping the tall, cut "woman" for an adam's apple.
I don't think he/she has one.
I still think it's a man, though.
I bought a new sports bra, and no, you're not getting pictures.
ok, maybe you are.

it's so bizarre for me to look back over the months,
and see how much this fat ole thing has changed.
this blog...
I used to be much sillier, I know that's hard to imagine.
and much sexier--
at least I felt sexier.
I will not be fatty mcfatterton for much longer, though.
I refuse to accept the charges.
I plead not guilty.
I am not afraid to run away in the night and never see those pounds again.
I don't need them.
they need me...
but they are not welcome here any longer.
My will power is winning.
the more often it wins, the stronger it gets.
me and will, we're going to kick this weight's ass.
we shore are.
I would like to say that with a Maine accent, if you'll excuse me for a moment.
yeah...that felt good.
I love my roots.
not the ones on my head (what's up, skunk girl?)
nor the ones in my teeth (you can stick your "canal" in your anal cavity, aight?)
but the ones that are invisibly snaking down from my feet into the earth--
they have to be invisible because whoever heard of roots 3000 miles long?
not I.
I need to go to Moab.
I need to have days and days to myself.
no kids, no husband, no friends--
no ties.
just me, drifting through a new set of experiences, a fresh serving of life.
no, I wouldn't like fries with that, smart ass.
I just want to be.
and I think the best way for me to settle and breathe and heal and grow--
the best way would be for me to be alone.
to have no expectations, no rules, no limits.
there are some things I was never meant to do.
but I do them.
I should do them more cheerfully.
cuz then I wouldn't hate them...

my back is fucking killing me.

our birds are really cute.
my husband is hilarious.
I am fucking tired.
have I mentioned lately how stupid and totally against nature it is to wake up to an alarm clock????
fuck this shit.

have a happy Tuesday, though.
and if I'm in a good mood, I'll snap ya some pictures later.
otherwise, fuck off.

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