Thursday, April 28, 2005

In order to have something new to say

I would have to DO something different occasionally, right?
yeah, that's what I thought.
well, yesterday, I drove all the way down to my kids' old doctor,
an hour away,
just to have my susicions confirmed:
but at least I got to see the even-cuter-than-mine pediatrician,
because he had an earlier appointment free.
3 peds in that office.
3 distict styles of hot.
this guy is brand new--
damn cute.
like, "stick him in my pocket and take him home" cute.
our real doctor was brand new when my sis in law stumbled fortuitously across him--
spreading the word quickly that her ped was a little hottie.
and had only been at it a few years when my little nuglets made their grand debut,
so of course I jumped on him.
jumped on the chance to take my kids there...
especially since his office was on my street.
and the other dude is older, but darkly handsome as well.
did any of you care?
I mean REALLY.
oh well.
at least I had something to say.
I never promised you a god damn rose garden, though, so ya might wanna lower those expectations, m'kay?
I said "somehting to say", not "something good/interesting/worthwhile" to say.
so fuck off.
or join me in a little house call fantasy...
german measles or something,
and i'm beside myself with worry,
so hottie McDoctor examines and treats child, who then falls asleep.
i'm still worried, though.
so he has to console me.
oh yeah, mama, just like that.

and it won't stop raining here.
the flooding has started,
so maybe all the fucks who kept saying, "It's a desert, you can't complain about rain!" will calmly and efficiently go fuck themselves.
need a hand, asstards?
I may have only lived here for 11 years,
but I still know "too much water" when I feel it
splashing down the back of my neck
seeping through my shoes
nearly drowning me, because I can't stop looking up.
just kidding.
(about that last one.)

I got the sweetest advice last night,
from the sweetest girl.
and she served as a reminder that people's names can affect who they become.
her name is Joy.
and she radiates it.
sure, she gets pissed at stupidity, like the rest of us.
or has a bad day occasionally.
but, she's just so even tempered and all-around happy.
it's fucking cool.
my theory is that people's parents choose their name,
so think about the kind of person who would choose the name,
and then think about what kind of parent they would be.
I met a girl named Trinity once.
she kicked ass.
because someone who would name their daughter Trinity, 25 years ago,
obviously there are plenty of us with all-american (read: boring-ass) names who have overcome the handicap to be pretty damn cool ourselves, but...
can you imagine what a fucking vampire slayer I could have been if my Mom hadn't used "short and easy" as her main criteria for name choice?
what if I had been called
would I be a different person?
and would the reason be the name,
or the person who chose the name?
I'm happy how I am--
and with the SuperMom that I have,
but it's an interesting thought.

so I had a really cool thought in the shower.
but I can't remember it.
of course.
oh yeah!
I was wondering about all the marriages where the sexual scales are tipped sorely out of balance--
which seems to be the majority of marriages.
My own marriage has seen a period of time where that was the case,
and most people I know in real life or on here,
have an imbalance, as well.
in my personal experience,
it is more likely to be the woman who has lost interest,
and then it's usually after child bearing.
this i understand.
hormones change--your body changes.
i sure as hell didn't feel sexy with all that extra weight,
and stupid stretch marks.
(god damn twins)
but, no matter what the cause, or who has dropped the ball
er,their pants?
oh--their interest!
it is a devastating thing for a couple.
I was wondering about the way we are each sexualized, as teenagers and young adults,
and the way that impacts the sex life in a marriage.
for me, sex was always something forbidden,
something mysterious,
something to seek after like a thief in the night...
something to hunger for,
and never quite be satisfied.
the thrill of the chase,
the adrenaline of not knowing what would happen, etc.
it definitely took me a while to adjust to such vast monogamy implied by marriage.
which is not so say that i was a raging slut before i met my husband,
because i really wasn't.
i was a late bloomer, due to my religious beliefs,
so i was only sexually active for about a year and a half before i met him.
but I never had much of a long-term sexual relationship before him.
in fact, his was the first cock I ever
in an unaroused state.
it made me giggle.
anyway, it's still something I miss--
the heat of those early encounters,
the excitement caused by not knowing what the hell was going on,
or whether I'd actually "score" or not.
(ok, that one was easy to figure out: they were BOYS.)
anyway, I'm just wondering how deeply this sort of thing affects us.
like, would the world be better off if we weren't all such little sluts?
only have sex with someone you're in a long-term thing with,
or religious zealots' preference: married to.
it is a much better kind of sex, more deeply satisfying,
when you are committed to the person, in love with them, and when there is trust.
(ya gotta have trust to let someone tie you up, right??)
but I still crave that other kind sometimes.
anyway, the question is:

your thoughts?

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