WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT (OF A STOMACH-TURNING NATURE) TO FOLLOW
well...
let's play a game of "Which is Worse", shall we?
Which is worse--
being stranded on (a narrow shoulder by the fast lane of) the freeway when your belt snaps and narrowly avoiding getting rearended in the tow truck as he pulls back into traffic
OR
finally getting to a restroom after said ordeal and finding (gulp) SEMEN on the seat and floor?
huh?
answer me, dammit!
which is worse??
i sure as hell don't know.
actually, i'm going with the bathroom incident as "worst"--
first of all, it was one of those single-user bathrooms,
and i opened the door to find a man standing there.
i blurted my apology,
he smiled and said, "no problem" and exited.
he was FULLY CLOTHED, for the record.
so then i double-checked the door to make sure it was locked...
and gingerly lowered the toilet seat.
THANK GOD i'm right handed...
i'm nearly dry-heaving just at the thought of putting my finger in that gunk.
(funny how a stranger's is "gunk" but a lover's is...in a whole other category)
and in a public restroom i always meticulously inspect the seat before covering it--
and that's when i saw it.
took a second to register...
then i jumped back.
i would like to report that I didn't use that toilet.
i really would.
however...
it had already been an hour, and i had no idea when my husband might be arriving.
there were no other bathroom choices nearby.
so.
i set about cleaning the (small) mess.
and covering that seat with nearly a whole roll of toilet paper.
then hovering over, rather than touching, the seat.
and vigorously scrubbing my hands, then dousing them with antibacterial scrub.
yeah.
that was fun.
guys?
if you're going to beat off in a public--UNISEX--bathroom?
please clean up your mess.
...although, at least this way, i knew what i was dealing with, right?
ick.
sorry...i hope no one was trying to eat or anything.
sometimes i forget that i have a pretty strong stomach.
i'll add a warning...
and what IS it with me and cars lately???
the freeway thing didn't bother me much--more of an annoyance than anything.
(making me late)
but, i realllly did think that fucking moron was going to rear end us.
he screeched to a halt in the breakdown lane,
just as crazy larry pulled out into traffic.
and THEN, my husband picked me up and took me to the "christmas party"--
which i put in quotes because there were only 6 of us there.
it was a lovely dinner with lovely company.
i was a little nervous...
but it went very well.
then, on the way down the mountain, we drove about 10 mph,
and it's a good thing, too--
we hit several patches of ice and slid all over the place.
then we reached the warmer air and it was safe driving from there.
blah.
i wanna move to hawaii.
unless there are perverts there, too.
in which case, i'm out of luck.
oh, and it was confirmed once again that i suck shit at keeping track of my spending.
this annoys me almost as much as it annoys my husband...
i hate it when i do stupid things.
so now i'm on probation or whatever.
bah.
I suck.
(but at least i'm good at it)
oh well.
there was good news yesterday, too.
we found someone who wants to RENT our house,
which means that we can buy a new one as soon as we find one.
and i really wanted to keep this one as a rental, anyway.
i just hope we get the house we made an offer on...
okay.
that's enough of the real life crap.
let's talk about sex.
why is it that i can't say that, without thinking of George Michael???
it has nothing to do with the fact that i was madly in love with him when i was 12.
i mean, come on, who wasn't??
it was the 80's, for chrissake.
so.
sex?
um...
i want to lick my way up the inside of your thigh,
my nails lightly digging into the sides of your ass as i find my destination.
have a great thursday--
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