because it's thursday, and i'm wound up

in a good way.
had a fabulous workout.
feeling like myself again.
for the moment, Madame Whiney Pants has left the building.
I'll try to change the locks, in case she comes sniffing around again...
but you know how that goes.
I'm a bit of a procrastinator.
...and by "a bit", I mean...well...THE BIGGEST ONE ON THE PLANET.
but that's part of my charm, right?
No?
Oh, well.
Fuck you then.
Yes...
I overuse that.
It's probably lost its punch just a bit.
How about...
Sit and spin?
(accompanied by a bird)
Or...
Eat me?
No...too inviting.
Blow me?
Anatomically incorrect.
Hm...
I've told you before that I'm not very creative.
And here's proof.
I am, however, trying to use my shift key at the appropriate times.
I'm actually discovering that it sticks a little--
Sometimes I hit it and it doesn't work.
So.
Maybe it's not ALL my fault.
Okay, it is.
I was hoping I could trick you.
But I"m not very good at tricking people.
TREATING them, on the other hand...
now that's my speciality.

I'm so incredibly impressed with myself for doing Christmas cards for the second year in a row, that I'm telling you about it.
I also wrote one of those stupid-ass letters, to update my so-called friends on the news of my life.
Here's my question about THAT--
if they were REALLY my friends, wouldn't they already know everything???
Okay, fine.
So people use that as a way to keep in touch with people they're not close to for one reason or another.
But I don't like it.
Besides, I wrote one paragraph about the kids and one paragraph about my husband's new job and that was it.
I had neither JACK nor SHIT to say about myself.
"Oh and I've been keeping busy running a soft-core porn and erotica website."
Sure.
Maybe I'll include that next year.

And on a side note, my kids hate me today.
It's true.
They told me.
Actually, not so much with the hating today.
They've been...mostly good.
Which is like mostly dead, in the Princess Bride.
Only alive.
And no Billy Crystal.

I think my skinny pills are actually happy pills.
Either way, praise god, amen.