thursdays always make me smile

often, it's simply because saying "thursday" reminds me of a song by that name.
and usually, that smile tumbles into the next one,
which comes when i realize it's nearly the weekend.

and this weekend, we're going to look at homes again...
this time, new construction.
we'll see.

AND.
today my enormous-waste-of-diskspace mp3 thinger is arriving.
i'm so excited i can hardly sit still.
i have my kids on the lookout for "the big brown truck" and the doorbell.
and i'm going to remain proud of my decision to save 200 bucks by going with a different brand until i have good reason not to be.
i'm nearly salivating at the thought of its arrival...
music.
aaaaalllllllllllll of my music.
at my fingertips.
all the time.

okay.
so.
how about if i turn into mist, and slip inside your head?
i could wander around in there for days...
not disturbing anything, just looking.
--taking notes, surely.
learning from your mistakes, aching to settle there and become part of the good times, the hopes and dreams.
and i could.
if i was a little wisp of mist.
i would dance for you, and tell you stories and soothe your fears.
i would giggle with you, when you do something embarassing and you're alone--
like the time i walked under a paid-parking lot arm thingy and got hit on the head with it...
i would be there, and you would feel like someone was holding your hand, and look down.
you would see nothing, but still feel warm.
i suppose, though...
that living inside someone else's dreams would not be very fulfilling after a while,
and my body would get lonely without me.
but it would be fun.

sometimes i wonder...
how i'm so different from the rest of my family.
but really what i wonder, is if my Dad is EXACTLY like me...
but not in tune with his creativity,
and that's why he's so--
so...what?
so...hm...i don't know what he is "so".
not sad, not unappy...
his lable is depressed, but i would call him...
unfulfilled, restless, inspired without direction.
poor pops.
cuz i'm not unhappy.
not at all.
but i do get restless.
and sometimes i feel bitter about certain expectations i had for life...
and sometimes i get angry that i can't fly or time travel.
and quite often i get frustrated that i don't have the proper combination of motivation and free time to make all my dreams come true RIGHT THIS SECOND.
but i will.

so last night Becky ran into an old friend.
a girl i hung out with a bit, too.
mostly...
she's been our running joke for the past 8 years.
she was more of a slut than we were anyone else we knew,
so we heaped all the insults on her--
behind her back, of course!
jeez, what kind of friends do you take us for?
heh.
i didn't feel too bad about it, because i didn't really know her.
it was her horses we were riding the night i got thrown and had a wild and highly forgettable trip to the ER.
...forgettable, because of the little slice of amnesia that went with my concussion.
apparently i kept naming everyone, to prove that i was okay.
only, i couldn't remember her name, just, "she's brittney's sister"--
hey, close enough.
and i kept repeating stories from a year previous.
good thing i didn't permanently regress to that stage of my memories!
holy shit popsicle...
i didn't even think of that.
if i had permanently lost that year of memories?
i would have woken up thinking i was still a good little mormon girl.
let's all shudder at that disgusting thought.
(i meant the mormon thing, but really the popsicle image is a bit worse...)

i hope you all have a happy, horny thursday.
if you don't like it, you can lick me.