it's another year already,
and i haven't even changed any of my bad habits from last year.
who needs self-improvement?
that shit's for the weak.
i'll gladly sloth and glutton my way through this year,
just like i did last year,
and the year before.
and the 20-plus before that.
if it's not broke, don't fix it, right?
...but what about if it's poor grammar--can i fix it then?
"if it's not broken, don't fix it"
you know what i would like to do for this year's first and only resolution?
i would like to go to every GOD DAMNED grocery store in this country
hand-paint over their stupid fucking grammatically incorrect signs.
TEN ITEMS OR FEWER.*
come on, people.
it's not that hard.
i began writing this earlier...
and now i've been distracted by motherly and (not the fun kind of)** wifely duties,
so i've lost my train of thought.
i'm a perpetual de-railer.
my train of thought's rail company is constantly giving refunds on tickets.
and i really truly don't do drugs--
can ya believe it??
the episode of Law & Order which is currently attempting to disturb me
(yes, of its own free will)
has just reminded me that not only are Romanian women devastatingly beautiful,
but so are the men.
(i couldn't find ANY pictures of romanian men. maybe my diagnosis is incorrect...)
i can't believe the Jerry Orbach passed away.
just 3 days ago--
he is one of my favorite actors--
who doesn't love Baby's dad?
so i'm off to enjoy a rather laid back evening of celebration.
i'm planning to not even drink.
and no, just FYI, this isn't a problem for me--
either drinking or not.
i'm lucky that it's not, surely.
but i just don't feel like drinking to the point of drunkenness.
i will probably dance.
not naked, not on a table.
but i will dance.
and play some pool.
and make people laugh.
cuz that's what i do.
so i hope you all have the most fabulous time for yourselves tonight--
whether you stay in, or go out, party or cuddle,
whether you are alone or swarmed...
i hope it is a happy time for each of you.
this really has been a wonderful year for me,
and i plan to make each of the following ones even better.
and myself along with them (however grudgingly, hehe)
HAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR, KIDS!!!!
* "If you can count them, use fewer." from Lynch's Guide to Grammar
** UPDATE: may now check "wifely duties of the fun kind" off the list for today...waking a husband who worked all night and is napping with a FANTASTIC b.j. is one of the things i do best.