thursday will begin

that's a line from a song that none of you could possibly know.
so, pardon the obscure reference.

so.
what do i have to say today?
probably a little bit of nothing, as usual.
but it's possible that today i will unveil the meaning of life.
...i could, since i do know the meaning of life.
but it's really complex and i just don't have the patience to field all the questions you would surely have for me.

i nearly poked a hole in my eardrum today.
with a Qtip.
or rather, a cheap ass immitation of a Qtip.
that's what i get for asking the Mr. to pick up a few things...
don't me get wrong--he's awesome.
he just didn't realize that sub-par brands of cotton swabs can by dangerous weapons.
or maybe he did--?
but it really hurt, and it kind of scared me.
i mean, what if i really damaged my hearing?
beyond its current level of crap-ass performance, i mean.
yeah.
i can't hear shit half the time.
and i mumble.
so that's nice.
(soon you'll all realize that i'm not kidding about being a dirty old man)

my shoulders are killing me.
had a killer workout with my buddy Dave yesterday.
dude shrugs 85 pounds in each hand.
ten.
i did TEN in each hand and my traps felt like they were going to fall off.
boys suck.
not that i really want to lift that much, but it's just amazing, the difference.
it was a good workout, but i used it as an excuse to skip cardio...
ugh.
i'm getting so bored with cardio that even reading doesn't help.
what's wrong with me??
this is bad--i am too much of a fat ass to skip cardio.

so we thought it would be fun to take the little ones to the bigger one's soccer game.
"we" being NOT ME.
i knew it would be hellish torment.
and i was right.
the stepson lives about an hour away, so of course the twinlets fell asleep in the car.
and woke up as ornery as I do.
NOT PRETTY.
sooo....whatever.
it was fine.
stepson did a great job--when he was goalie the other team didn't score any goals, and his team ended up winning--they always do.
but i got a chilling view of the legendary herd of "soccer moms".
that, ma frens, is the stuff of nightmares.
mine.
that i'll be living in just over a year.
shudder....

aw, damn!
my neck hurts so bad!!!
i think i worked my shoulders way too hard.
i think my head is going to snap off.
seriously, if you hit my neck just right i think it would crack in two because of the tension.

and i continue to avoid my life in favor of this computer.

reason #412 why i hate utah:
my skin looks like the discarded skin of a snake.
or the skin of an alligator, but that's just such a cliche.
i use gallons of moisturizer but i can't seem to keep ahead of the climate.

and also.
i was so excited to hear Van Halen announce a Salt Lake stop on their summer tour.
with my Sammy....
of course, it happens to fall during the middle of my trip to Maine.
fuckity fuck.
i think my heart is breaking just a little...