hellloooooo, baaaaaaaaaby!

I'm not the big bopper, but that song drifted through my head, so there it is.
Chantilly Lace.
we did a really gay half-time routine to it once in high school.

there are rain clouds again.
i love spring!
after the spring ends we will not see rain again until october.
it's weird.
weirder still, that i still compare everything here to how it is in Maine.
Did you know that Maine got it's name from french fishermen who worked off the islands?
it was the mainland, and in french that was, "la maine".
did you also know that Maine was part of Massachusetts until 1820?
AND did you know...
that summer mornings always start with dew covered grass?
that the ocean smells like salt and coldness?
that the ocean invades the shoreline relentlessly in the form of tidal rivers, ten thousand fingers digging into the earth...
that pine needles blanketing the forest floor are slippery, but in a different way than a moss covered rock...

and then there's fucking Utah.
to steal a line from Ellen Degeneres....
it's overpopulated with the wrong kind of people.
heh.
i remember once, just wanting some solitude in a beautiful place...
so i drove to one of the canyons and parked.
people everywhere.
so i tried another.
and another.
and another.
no solitude.
and another time?
i just wanted some water--a body of water...
so i drove to Utah Lake, which is enormous.
at first, i couldn't find a road which led there.
and finally i did and it was a boat launching place, overrun with loud trucks and people.
i have since discovered some places that are less-known.
but for the most part, there is just nowhere to go to escape the people here.
it doesn't usually bother me anymore.
i even bought one of the cookie cutter houses that i have despised since i moved here.
i crave a drafty old victorian.
something with 150 years of creaks in the hardwood floors.
something with character.

oh well.
enough bitching.
we're thinking of taking a little trip this weekend.
that would be fun, but it would also be nice to just chill at the house--get some fucking flowers planted.
everyone's roses are in bloom--it's gorgeous!!
i'm sooooo tempted to sneak around one night and "borrow" a few...
hey, most of them are dying on the vine: they need to be liberated.
(in an ultra dramatic move, i could say that i relate...)
for the record, it wouldn't really be true.
i just want to get my kids the hell out of Utah before their prime socialization starts.
this place is twisted and sick.
which reminds me of a sticker i had in my collection as a little girl:
"you're perverted twisted and sick--i like that in a person"
there was a little bear with a flower or something innocent like that.
but, that is still my motto.
i should find that sticker.
...or a life.
or some fucking earplugs.
or at the very least, a good therapist.