Sunday, May 16, 2004

i think i need to stop

eating, maybe?
tanning, certainly.
feeling full and crispy.

it's been a lovely weekend, though.
rollerblading today.
well, for about 5 minutes.
then we were tired, so we turned around.
and when we got back to the car we felt like blading some more.
but we didn't.
we drove around listening to pearl jam, ten.
singing every damn word.
windows down, sunroof in the trooper open.
legs sticking to the leather seats...
i saw the lake and had to go.
so we took one of the many FUCKING roundabout routes to get there...
passing a soccer field, train tracks...the defuct steel plant.
and finally reaching the edge of the lake, a slow winding road with little traffic.
the sky such a clear, dark blue.
the mountains surprisingly green for this desert.
the water was a dull greenish blue, muddy.
beautiful, if dirty.
water always calms me, soothes my aches and itches and worries and breathing...
and pearl jam takes care of the rest.
so it was a moment of perfection, clarity, whatever.
it was good.

then we destroyed that mood by going bathing suit shopping.
and then i was late relieving hubby from kid watch making him late for his Tee Time.
(not to be confused with tea time...)
then it was naptime so i got to just chill all afternoon.
i need to do something crazy.
something wild and adventurous.
something jarring.
something of a different temperature, texture, color.
i need to grab a frosty mug of life and just chug.
i need to unglue my feet from this present, this location.
i need to burst forth from a canon.
i need to fly from a trapeze and purposely miss the hands reaching for me--flying off into the night sky.
higher and higher....
i need a new drug.
or a new duck.
or a new doo.
or a new diet.
or someone to smack me.

good night, good luck, good head.

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