What is that...?

I think I feel the gentle stirrings of my muse within.
...either that or I have to pee.
but seriously, I've been in a funk lately--
uninspired, and only myself to blame.
or my circumstances--the move, the low thyroxin levels, the kids out of school...
and now.
everything is zen again.
and I sorta think I might have a machinehead--
but in a good way.
hell, I don't know what ole Gavin meant by that, anyway.
better than the rest, green to red???
what in the wtf the fuck does that mean???
this is why I'm not a poet.
I like clarity.
I crave precisce descriptions.
people who say what they mean--
and I always assume people mean what they say,
although I probably shouldn't.
many of them don't.
anyway.
I have a muse, and he is wonderful.
but I also have that within myself, and I'd lost touch with it, for a while.
I think it might be back...
I can feel it, because I am inspired everywhere I look.
I want to not just be two spirits drifting past each other in a dark sky,
I want you to sink your exaggerated canines into me, and infuse me with your essence.
I want to feel the blood pumping through my body, and know that some of it is black or purple or silver--iridescent!--some of it is not mine.
I want to be a part of you, and let you possess me, for a time.
I want to write words.

I got a library card today.
I will awkwardly try to explain the degree of excitement I am experiencing.
first of all, I am a library addict--
I don't often buy books, and this is for several reasons.
one, I almost never re-read a book, so it seems sorta wasteful, to me.
two, I usually read like a bulimic locked in a grocery store over night would eat...
I plow through books, recklessly, feverishly--3 or 4 a week, sometimes.
It would be an expensive habit.
so, the next part of the story, that will help you see why I feel like I just won the book lottery, is this:
(and I've probably mentioned this before, so deal)
mr. husband checked out a book about a year ago.
he took it with us on our Metallica tour (4 shows in 2 weeks...)
and he left it in a hotel.
so.
I pulled the stubbornness card, and insisted that he deal with it.
Since we had a joint card, I was screwed, too.
so.
It's been nearly a year since I've been able to run wildly down rows of books, grabbing everything in sight,
and I am THIRSTY.
I have a bag of books sitting on my table, right now.
I'm 'unna wrap this up and grab a straw.

The list includes:
* Madame Bovary, by gustave flaubert (cuz someone said I might relate to her)
* Thief of Time, by Terry Pratchett (because I've been reading it with a friend, on audio and it's taking too long...see my last post)
* Homesick Restaurant, by Ann Tyler (because i've read a bunch of her stuff and liked it)
and two others, from the "new arrivals" shelf.
oh, baby, i'm excited!!!
such diverse choices...I almost don't know where to start.

Well...
it is Tuesday...
If you go here there might be something of interest.
maybe.

and now, I'm going to try really hard to NOT go back to bed...
I've been trying to institute a rule:
where my kids are not allowed to wake me before 7.
so far, no dice.
dammmmit, I hate mornings.

have a fantasical day!!