Mondays are like crisp one dollar bills

sure they're pretty, but they're not worth much.
huh?
don't ask.

so, I slept late today and scurried to get the kids ready for school,
got in the car, and arrived on time.
yay me.
HOWEVER.
the kids had other ideas.
they seemed to think they were sick, or something.
so home we came.
and mommy's plans for a quiet morning of writing and/or sleeping went swirling down the drain.
bah.
and now I'm explaining to the little Future Drug Addicts of America the reason the chewable tylenol is NOT candy, and is not to be eaten at will.
I mean, I'm glad they've figured out how to make most common children's medicine taste good enough that they don't fight it when they need it, but COME ON!
It tastes like candy, or kool-aid (mmmm Dimetapp!)
Poor little guys.

so, I had the genius idea of moving my computer, so that the glare wouldn't give me instant cataracts anymore,
but.
the place I chose was not very well-thought out.
there is a hallway, at the bottom of the stairs--
in the basement.
it has a nice bright light, and is carpeted.
so I thought, hey, why not?
well, dip shit, here's "why not"--
it's 20 degrees colder down there than in the rest of the house.
so much for me and my rocket scientist skills.
I am FREEEEZING.
so I guess I should move the stupid machine back upstairs, and get some sunglasses or something.
I wish they could make our shutters faster--
maybe I'll flash bribe them.

I had a thought yesterday, for something to write about--
it's rare, so I was kind of excited.
but then I forgot.
it was something about....something.

there are days when I would like to hunt down the executives of Nickelodeon (Nick Jr) and the Disney Channel and bind them with barbed wire, then sprinkle them with lemon juice and leave them in Death Valley for an afternoon.
however...
there are also days, when I would gladly give oral pleasure to each and every one of them--regardless of race, creed, or gender.
(I forgot when creed means, but just for the record, I would not service any of the member of the band Creed.)
see, the songs are cute.
once.
after that they are like nails on a chalkboard--
for people who dislike that sound.
doesn't happen to bother me, but it's sort of a universal annoyance, so I went with it.
on the good days, though, they provide some peace and quiet for a mother in need.
in need of what, you ask?
why, Lisa, don't you have everything you need, everything you want?
faack, no, kids.
I mean, shit, I may not have mentioned this before, but want I really want the most is a silver unicorn.
well, a unicorn/pegasus combo, actually.
cuz, hell, ya might as well be able to fly if you're going to by mystical, right?
and not really silver, but white.
silver sounded better at first, but as I mull it over, it seems a bit too metallic, hard, shiny, etc.
possibly it could even talk...I can't decide.
ok, so maybe this dream needs a little work--
I'll get back to you, but in the meantime, keep your eyes open, would ya?

all I know, is that when you say my name, my heart races,
and when I feel your breath against my neck, my heart stops...
being in love is hazardous to one's health, no?
heh--sorry.
sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of cliches--
but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it,
unless the birds of a feather don't flock together,
because then we'd have to look for a needle in a haystack,
and that's just not up to par
with my expectations of how this caged bird should sing.
--ya know?

am I the biggest dork you've ever met?
yes, probably.
but I'm also dead sexy, so it balances out ok.