Wednesday, March 30, 2005

snowing cats and dogs

er something.
I just can't think of what else to call it.
in Maine, we had blizzards.
I have yet to see a blizzard in 11.5 years here, but sometimes it snows a lot.
today it snowed a lot.

I went for a little shopping therapy, despite the storm.
GAAAAAAWD, that feels great.
it's the same sort of false filler for an emotional emptiness that eating is.
only without the calories.
besides, I really needed some new gym clothes.
I felt a little like I was screaming "look at me!!" wearing this new orange shirt..
but it's really cute...tight across my tits, looser through the middle so I don't feel self-conscious when I do crunches and stuff...
and my ass looks great in these pants, so really, what could be better??
world peace?
a million dollars?
not really.
the end of the war?
well...sure, but only by a little.
(yes that was another one of those pesky exaggeration thingies--watch out for those)
live is good.
nice typo.
LIFE is good.
but, i mean, if you're talking about a sexual partuner, I would say "live" is a pretty damn good start.
"willing" might be the next thing you'll wanna consider,
and from there, it's really up to you.

I read and adored each comment on last night's whinefest post.
I always feel incredibly sheepish when I boob about how shitty my posts are,
and then get such wonderful feedback.
I do love you all--
and here's how I put it, last year, on this day, in fact!!
now THAT'S creepy. or cool.
Have i told you lately...
that i love you?
seriously, you folks out there who read this crap on a regular or semi-regular or bran muffin type regular basis...
I love you.
and not in that slobbering drunk way.
or that sappy romantical way.
not really so much in the "all for one and one for all" way either...
more like the "you make me feel like a natural woman" way.
or the "you guys are all so much better at this and i am amazed by the warm words of praise you offer" way.

it was true then, and it's true now.

so, enough of the oprah moment, ok?
I'll put away my tissues if you'll stop confessing the deepest desires of your heart,
and maybe we can both get a Manic Mom Make-Over.
or something.
I love you, you love me, end of story.

I almost did an audio post while I was driving through the snow...
but I figured that wouldn't be very responsible.
so you get squat.
sucks to be you.

I was thinking about how much I love checking out guys at the gym.
...while checking out guys at the gym, today.
and I came to the conclusion that yessiree, I really do love it.
It makes my day.
making eye contact...ooooeee.
men I'll probably not see again, and DEFINITELY not speak to,
but somehow...
there's a sparky thing.
an acknowledgment of attraction--
and I get just as much of a thrill from the thought of that married 40 something guy doing a double take that someone is checking him out at all.
I think a lot of people are so focused on their lives--
careers, kids, marriages--
that they don't even give thought to whether or not some insanely horny younger woman finds them sexy.
I'm usually not an older man kinda gal.
but there was one today...gray hair, gray goatee.
completely unaware of his hotness.
I think I startled him.
the funny thing is, I'm so immersed in my music and my routine,
that I really don't think about the fact that I might be openly gawking at some guy.
but sometimes I notice that I am...
and it startles me...
it's such an oddly intimate yet completely solitary place.
for me, at least.
I know some people workout with a buddy, but most of us don't.
we all silently (gruntingly) go about our business.
me with my Cult, my Iron Maiden, my Godsmack, my GnR...
so, so loud.
I always want to sing out loud.
hell, I probably have before.
I wouldn't know it, if I did.
Maybe THAT'S why I get looks sometimes!
suddenly this is all making a lot more sense.

ok, time to go be productive.
and yes, being productive includes lying on the couch while my kids watch Dora the the little whore-a and day dreaming about my new furniture--pyschicly wishing it a speedy trip.
yes, we call her Dora the little whore-a.
NOT in front of the kids, don't worry.
she's really cute, i actually love the show.
(as much as I love ANY of those kids shows...shudder...)
but neither my husband nor I are capable of singing a song without changing the lyrics into something dirty/swear wordy.
trust me, we've tried.
oh wait!!
I know what would be productive!
reading blogs.
see ya there--

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