Today must be Tuesday...

because yesterday was Monday.
...and that's the logic I use to get through life.

I just spent a whole minute, balancing a single hair on my fingertip...
yeah.
looks like I'm as motivated today as I was yesterday.
it was cool, though...
a long-ish spirally black hair.
I was kind of mesmerized by it, ok?
I'm not sure who to blame for all this sleepiness, but I'm getting fed up.
If I had the energy, I would probably be growling--hurling curses accusatorily through blank folds of time--or space?--and waiting impatiently for an acknowledgment of fault.
from.
someone.
blame is a fun game.
I like it best when I'm winning,
and frankly, it's just as fun to be a sore loser at the blame game,
but far less satisfying.

do you have any idea what in the bloody hell I am talking about???
good.
cuz neither do I.
I don't actually like to blame others, just so you know.
I do like to understand cause and effect, though.
so that's close.

If I had a Lucky Star, I wonder who it would be.
I think I know what Madonna meant.
my muse could be my lucky star.
that fickle bastard.
or maybe my kids are.
if I could stop yawning, maybe I could even think of some other possibilities.
but I can't.
or at least, maybe I could remember some of the lyrics--
because apparently I've decided this song has some vast spiritual importance in my life.
(either that or I just got distracted by the way those two words look/sound/feel together...)
and I just forgot, for a moment, whether or not I've had breakfast.
(I have.)

sometimes I feel like I'm more a mother than a woman,
and other times I feel like I'm more a woman than a mother...
both scenarios scare me.
I don't know if it's harder for me to maintain both identities, while integrating them, because I stay home, or if it would be the same for me even if I had an outside job.
...why did that sound too much like "it was an inside job"??
and why can I not say "good job" anymore without pronouncing it like what's-his-face from the Homestarrunner cartoon?
that one's easy--BECAUSE IT'S FUN!!!
sorry, I don't have anymore non-sensical rhetorical questions for you...
I know how much you love them, so I'll really try harder next time.

I think the Blue's Clues host probably has a hard time getting laid.
yes, he's a celebrity.
yes, he's cute.
HOWEVER.
I think it would be creepy to fuck someone who talks to a blue dog all day,
and sings ridiculously catchy (but super lame) songs...

who else is a little excited for Episode III?
I am holding out hope that it'll make up for the disappointments in I & II...
and really just feeling like nothing will ever compare to the greatness of the original trilogy, because WE WERE KIDS.
and, for the 70's/80's, those were incredible shows.
people could have found Yoda just as laughable as Jar-Jar...
I think what it comes down to is that these 3 new ones are expected to blow the original 3 out of the water, because of the improved special effects which are available now.
well.
on that front, they do.
but it's like falling in love with someone--madly, wildly, obsessively?
and then being shown a bunch of home movies of this person when he or she was a teenager--
technically, he or she looks "better"--younger, more fit, etc.
but.
you make fun of the hairstyles and clothes, and you don't feel the same love for this video-version of your soul mate as you do for the one you've always loved.
because it's just not the same.

I know all the die-hard fans complain about the actor chosen to represent Anakin...
I'll agree that his acting sucks donkey balls, but he's hot.
...I can't say I entirely feel good about lusting after DARTH VADER, but I'll get over it.
(way less creepy than screwing the blue's clues guy.)

I think it's time for me to go sheer some sheep.
or skin some cats?
something like that.
and shower.
and figure out my new phone number.