Tuesday, November 18, 2003

i just realized something

going to bed with a kitchen full of dirty dishes gives me the same feeling as going home with a random hot guy.

okay, minus all the great sweaty sex.

but the guilt and self-loathing--exactly the same.

okay, so here's the funniest Jasmine story of all time. (she's my best friend)

we're packing up the car to drive back to maine (from utah) after our sophomore year of college.
Jasmine says, "no, wait--put the magazines here, so i can reach them in case you're asleep."

i'll just let that sink in for a minute.

and yes, it was just the two of us driving.

please don't read while i'm asleep??!

that was a great trip. if you''ve never driven cross country with your best friend--do it. in fact, the first time we were ever confused for lesbians (but certainly not the last) was on that trip. checking into a motel: would you like one bed or two? of course two little innocent 20 year olds from BYU giggled and said "TWO!!" we used to get invited to 3-somes on a regular basis back then too. now it all makes much more sense--two cute innocent girls, hell yeah these guys wanted to fuck us. kind of sorry i lost the "innocent" handle....

which reminds me! something i read a little while back gave me an idea. if there are any guys reading this, listen up: the best way to get a girl to WANT to give you head is this: tell her you don't like it. now, i know this is a gamble because she could think, "phew, now i don't have to do THAT." but let's face it, if that's her attitude we didn't want to date/fuck her anyway, right? so, girls who like giving head, or at least have that eager to please chromosome, will ask, "what? why the hell not??? haven't you ever had gooood head before?" and you'll say, nah, not really...and look all cute and pitiful. she'll swallow you whole. pun intended.


had a great workout today. that father/son duo was back. raawr. i did a leg circuit that leaves me walking like a virgin after her wedding night.

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