hahahaha--i'm just kidding.
i think i need fewer sex-drenched posts, not more.
yeah, yeah, i know y'all disagree, but you don't get a vote.
have I MENTIONED that I'm going to Silicon valley this weekend?
no, not silicone valley, although that does sound like fun...
you're probably all sick of hearing about it, but that doesn't really bother me.
(it's funny how disaffected i act on here...i love people and i love making them happy)
and i'm really excited for me little tiny short trip,
so i'll talk about it all i want.
it's going to be warm(er than here) and sunny!!
honestly, i'd be happy to sit in a shit hole in RENO--as long as that meant i wasn't in Utah.
i love utah.
i just hate it more.
what the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.
I'm neither a creep nor a loser but that song still belongs to me.
It's one of my "I'm stuck in utah and that feels like wearing someone else's glasses" songs.
that and marilyn manson's "beautiful people" and some others.
but i can't remember, cuz that chip fell off my shoulder a while back.
but seriously, i don't belong here.
it's just a temporary nesting spot.
Yes, I'm 11 years in, but that's nothing in the course of a life.
okay, so it's 10% of a life, at the bare minimum.
probably more, but the math on anything under a 100 year life span is too complex to do at this time of night.
HEY!
10:30 is late when you're...
um...
what's my cop out?
i got none.
do you know how frigging easy my life is???
do you??
if you did, you would hate me.
hell, you might already.
nah...
no one in the real world hates me, so probably none of you darlings do either.
and if you do, then why are you still reading me?
or better yet, why am I addressing these masses of non-existent Lisa-haters?
NURSE!!
adjust my medication.
seriously...
i'm quite normal most of the time, but sometimes i get on these fucked up little rants where i think i'm the king of the world, and I sound like the Mad Hatter.
Since I'm a girl, being a king ain't likely.
but i realllly like the sound of King Lisa.
it sorta makes me snort water out my nose.
(...well, that time it did.)
I love being completely out of control of what i say or write or whatever.
it's like i'm possessed--or my muse went on a coke bender.
(deep breaths)
have I mentioned that I think I have leprosy?
(look at my arm on yesterday's picture for proof)
my skin gets so dry here, in the winter.
oh god!
nevermind.
I just ew.
shudddder.
I just gulp.
I just searched for a picture to use as an example of true leprosy...
daaamn.
that was so disgusting.
I mean...i'm very sad for those afflicted with such a horrible disease.
but CHRIST.
I can't get that image out of my head.
think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts...
brad pitt's single, brad pitt's single, brad pitt, brad pitt....
okay, my breathing has returned to normal.
which reminds me, I must be ovulating.
my stupid body thinks I should have more kids or something.
all I can think of is sex.
at the gym today, I kept imagining pulling some guy's shirt up and licking...
I wasn't trying to imagine it--
it just sorta flew into my head.
repeatedly.
he probably wasn't even hot.
he was just in my line of vision.
I guess I should distract myself by watching "Troy."
...which begs the question: "what the fuck was i doing writing a post when that movie is the player paused and ready??????"
crazy fucking girl.
But at least my son responded to my request for him to hang up his coat at the gym babysitting with this:
But I need a hooker!
(yes son, don't we all...)
A HOOK, baby. A HOOOOOOOK.
I told that story in a comment earlier, so I feel i bit smarmy posting it again.
but.
COME ON--
it's priceless.
have a good day and give me a beer--
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