I've been a good girl this week...
I followed through with my intention to tone things down a bit.
And I'm going to take one more Friday off--at least.
fortunately, I have plenty of re-runs for you.
I have more episodes than ANY sit-com or drama on tv these days.
I wrote one a week for a whole year.
those bastards give us like 20 a year if we're LUCKY.
moral of the story?
I am way cooler/more of a badass/a bigger dork than tv's script-writers.
also, I have waaaaaay more free time and a smaller travel budget/office/staff.
(note: a small staff does NOT make you less of a man, but you could always give Viagra a shot...)
so my point is, I have plenty of oldies so sit back and enjoy.
I also want to take a moment to thank the Academy.
or my lucky stars?
no, no, i'm getting distracted again!!!
I wanted to thank all of you darlings for reading my silliness--
and my deep thoughts, and all the meanderings of my head.
I am, truly, a housewife who is bored from lack of external stimulation,
and this little pseudo-social circle has saved me from a fate worse than valium.
that reminds me--
i have been blessed to never use chemicals to deal with problems.
unless food counts...
and FOR THE RECORD: food don't solve problems.
unless you're in a third world country.
jesus christ (superstar) I can't stay on task for more than 3 seconds.
love all your guts, etc.
If I'm ever a millionaire, I am SOOOOOOOOOO flying you all here for a weekend of major sins and minor felonies!!!!!!!
have a happy-non-crappy weekend, and give your husband head whether he deserves it or not. if you have a wife? do something unexpected and unselfish for her, ya prick.
(I was looking for a super steamy one, but I hope you'll enjoy this slightly more subtle one as much as I did on the re-read)
we laugh at each other, all evening.
joking, teasing--never flirting.
we know the rules...
i'm off limits, so you are too.
as the night stretches out, the tension surfaces.
the jokes have all been made...
the stories all told.
your eyes tell me what your mouth will not.
i don't want to see...
i don't want you to see in me what i've carefully tucked away.
peeling the label off my beer bottle, i glance up, without thinking.
--without remembering not to look too long at your beautiful eyes.
the casual comment, still on my tongue, goes cold.
my lips pause, parted to speak, but with nothing left to say.
it's like falling asleep in a car as it drives through city streets, and waking at the seashore...
you see all this in the long moment before i dig down into my shoes and find something to say...
something about sports or the weather or politics.
you don't reply.
you look down, at your slender fingers and the hands i love...
safer than your eyes, and just as beautiful.
i lick my lips, aware suddenly of the salt from the damn bar nuts.
the silence grows.
i know i should talk, but...
my mind is like a skipping record, stuck on the thought of your skin.
over and over it plays in my head...
your back, your chin, your knees--
each flashing behind my eyes to the beat of my heart.
you clear your throat, and softly speak my name.
my eyes almost water, i bite the edge of my lip.
you say my name again, firmly.
my eyes disobey the voice of reason in my head and meet yours.
my stomach flips...
you say, let's go.
all of my fears and indecsions fall to a messy heap on the floor,
and i step over them, taking your hand as we walk to the door.
nothing has ever felt so right.
sometimes mere desire can warp the mind's sense of right or wrong...
but that is enough for now.
arriving back at your place, the silence is soft and still around us--
not menacing anymore.
i am letting you lead, afraid to be the one to break the barrier.
you cock your head and smile at me, reaching to brush a stray curl off my cheek.
this gesture--so ordinary in some situations--sends a shudder through me,
and i lean into you.
close enough to kiss, but not touching--
you keep my eyes on yours as the heat grows.
i don't notice that you're shaking.
you kiss me once...
so softly it's like someone brushed my lips with a silk cloth.
i follow you, lips still parted, as you pull back from the kiss.
you smile at this and give me what i want:
so tender and sweet...
we kiss like teenagers, for so long that my mind finally begins to clear.
with this clarity, i find urgency, desperation.
my body catches up to my lips so quickly that i nearly stumble.
ripping at your clothes, pulling you to the bed.
you laugh--once, briefly, before attacking back...
the thrill of finally touching your precious skin is lost in the frenzy of the moment,
overlooked by my need to have you inside me.
we are locked together in such a fierce embrace that we both wake up with bruises we don't recognize.
for a few minutes the only sounds are our breathing and the squeak of the bedsprings...
then i hear you, so softly...
and i know you didn't want me to hear...
i bite your neck in response--and to keep myself from crying.
as our frenzy peaks and slows, we both sigh with joy and sorrow.
knowing we've taken the most beautiful wrong turn anyone has ever taken--
and not wasting time looking back.