well.
I mean, i guess i am now...
but i wasn't before.
ugh.
hold on.
let me start over:
I have been racing through my links list, like a bull in a china cupboard
(only with far less porcelein breakage)
leaving comments the size of emails--
and feeling so full of wit, or its bastard child "smart assery",
that I finally realized I should come here.
yes, that was COME.
not "cum".
friggin pervs.
(yes, once again, that translates to: I'M the perv. get over it.)
anyway...
here's the rant I deleted from the comment I was leaving on Panacylum,
after a response to a post about god's lack of coolness re: the recent natural disasters/life in general.
(i paraphrased profusely, just go read it)
...and in a related story, the Mormons think it's crunch time.
As in, the big JC is on the Concorde headed our way...
I'm kind of excited for their version of hell.
All it is, is earth.
I'm not even kidding.
Of course it might--
FUCK.
hold on.
I think i need to go repent, because...
if they're right
(yes, that's a bigger IF than the sun's gasses spread out in a line across the universe...)
but if they are, then guess what makes it hell?
oh, just guess!
no procreation powers.
shiiiiiiiit.
that never really clicked, when i was "in".
guess what that means, party people: NO SEX.
like.
i have to live forever but can't ever get laid.
god dammmmit, why didn't they just say so?
(this is where I realized it was not a comment sized train of thought, moved it to my own blog, and kept writing:)
THAT, boys and girls, would be the true definition of hell for many of us, no?
psh.
fuckers.
I remember, growing up, thinking: 3 levels of heaven.
that's cool.
the lowest level will be physically located on the planet earth
(that should've been my first tip-off, I know...but what the FUCK do you expect?? I was raised in it!)
and the only two things that are markedly different about the levels of heaven are:
the highest level you will be able to procreate and the upper levels can visit folks below them.
so, basically, shoot for the lowest level, cuz then you don't have to chill with all the self-righteous pricks, right?
heh.
dammmmit.
no sex.
well.
we can hope, right?
maybe it just means you can fuck all day and all night, but will not make babies.
since that's the true definition of "procreation"....
oh please oh please oh please oh please--
oh.
wait a second...
I DON'T BELIEVE THAT SHIT ANYMORE.
...I forgot...
heh.
i got a little carried away.
that was really fun for me, and I swear mormons aren't as crazy as i JUST made them sound.
okay, well sorta...
but they're generally a really swell group of folks.
(except in utah, but that's another rant for another day...)
and your reward for sitting through that is...
dun dun daaaaaaaaaaaaah-----
BRALESS TUESDAY IS HERE
WHAT??
yesterday was Wet Wednesday, so it's only fair...
I know it's a little late to be prompting people to vote...
wish I would have thought of this shirt back in November.
oh well.
be good kids today, and don't make me send you to time out.
oops, that was a memo to the twinlets, how'd it get in here??
but still...
be good.
be kind to each other and do something unselfish...
(i figure, if each of you does it, I don't have to. heh.)
No comments:
Post a Comment