is today monday or tuesday??

hard to tell sometimes...

went to the frigging tanning bed yesterday.
why?
well, because my husband wanted to.
i feel hopelessly vain and silly.
oh yeah, and a bit pink.
damned irish skin.
but i have to say...
i liiiiiiike it.

so my parents are in town for the week.
i might get a bit spare with entries this week, so beware.
you may have to find your spiritual enlightenment elseware...
i know, it'll be tough.
but get a 12 step program or something, you damned sissy.

we're planning to go to Vegas tomorrow.
quick day trip...
Dad loooooves to gamble and it's been 28 years since he's been to Vegas.
oh he stops at the reservation casinos in connecticut, etc.
but that's not the same.
Vegas Baby!!
i'm sure it'll be much less exciting than my trip next month for metallica.
but it's still vegas.

So i finally caught an episode of The L Word the other night.
I read a review of it recently and was curious...
it was pure crap.
i may have missed the one really hot scene, but still.
the rest was blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
i'm not even going to bother with a summary.

kids are beyond whiney.
and i am beyond bitchy.
and of course i have 56.3 things to do before my parents get here at noon.
that's two hours.
i suck.
(but at least i'm good at it.)
seriously, i'm such a fucking procrastinator.
it makes me sick.

i apologize for this crap assed post.
but all i want to do right now is scream so it's hard to write.
and in between scolding the kids it's even harder to not scream.
what the hellllll gave them the idea that having candy for breakfast is even a remote enough possibility that they can ask for it once, let alone 463 times?????
oh, it was YOU, was it?
i always knew you had it out for me.
you cocksucker.

which reminds me.
why is that such an insult?
i mean, why is such a commonly used insult, as opposed to "you carpet muncher"?

and i just burped protein bar.
it was a new kind and it tasted strongly of something green...like grass, maybe?
i can't place the taste.
sick.
in any case, i won't be having anymore of THAT kind.
blech.

okay, i had a moment of peace but i'm being summoned again.
damn evil midgets.

have a happy and midget free day.
and by midget i mean 3 year old twin boys.

oh, i just discovered the source of the whining.
a half eaten bag of marshmellows.
so that's half the problem--now tell me why i'm so damn bitchy!
i know.
it's just my nature.
but it's worse today, trust me.
they're finally tucked away with a movie so i can get the dishes done and get dressed.
but here i sit.
just for another minute though.
promise.
i'm going to attempt a trip to the store with them.
do NOT say "i told ya so" when i come back without them.
it's true, they might be bad enough that i sell them to the cashier for 50 cents.
but don't tell.

oooooh.
adam sandler on a comedy channel Conan.
love him so fucking nmuch.
bye.