HAPPY NEW YEAR, BLOGGERS!!

And I really mean that.
I want you all to have a happy night, and a happy year.
Let's all be happy.
and wear fewer clothes.
In fact, here are my Blog-resolutions:
(totally off the top of my head, so be prepared to be confused, titillated, taunted, and lied to)

1. I would like to see less arguing in my comments box
2. I would like to see more nudity from my readers/co-bloggers
3. I resolve to write more of what I want (snort--as if that's something I need to work on??)
4. I will post fully nude photos every 6th Wednesday of the month.
5. I resolve to get my links list updated--and to
6. Spend more time reading blogs.
(hey, I have a semester starting--I'll need a good way to procrastinate)
7. I resolve to kick anyone's ass that I want to, and fuck anyone in my dreams that I want to.
8. I resolve to lose 400 pounds by June.
(ok, fine...but I resolve to hit the gym 5 times a week again)

I am in list mood.
Resolutions were never really my thing.
But it was so much fun making a list...
Now I want to make another one.

Last night around 10 or 11 pm, hubby and I were in bed,
and conversation turned to this evening.
I sighed and said, "I just want to go to bed. Tomorrow."
I started laughing at myself--
I'm in bed, and I'm all I can think of that I would like to do "tomorrow" is GO TO BED.
Wow.
That was a sad moment.
And so is this.
And...this.
Crap, I'm trapped in a cycle.

OH!
Lisa Lampenelli told my favorite joke last night, but she tells it backwards from how I tell it...
her way:
Little boy gets on an elevator and says to woman: can I smell your feet?
woman: No! (indignantly)
little boy: Oh, then it must be your pussy.
Frankly, I have to say I like my way better.
Cuz it has a higher "ew" factor.
Dude at a bar says to woman: Can I smell your pussy?
Woman, also indignantly: No!
Dude: OH, then it must be your feet.
Way.
Better.

And on that, oh-so-uplifting note,
I'll wish my friens in Greenwich Mean a happy new year,
and the rest of y'all, too.
I'll probably post drunk tonight, so watch for it.