Saturday mornings aren't just for hangovers anymore!!

as crazy as that sounds, it's true.
Just ask Becky.
but first, wish her a belated happy birthday.
if I had felt slightly less like a pile of dogshit yesterday,
I might have remembered to post a Happy Birthday thang.
but I did, so I didn't.
anywho.

and here's how ya know ya got a problem...
if you eat lunch, purely as a rationale to eat dessert--
you might be a fatass.
I DO this!!
can you believe the twisted workings of this simple girl's mind?
I plot, and plan...
carefully, deviously.
what can I eat?
what will have enough protein that I can snarf down half a cake and not slip into a diabetic coma?
I need counseling.
or insulin.
liposuction, at least.

My head is swimming,
but it's also foggy.
I guess that means I'm on the coast...?
well, whatever it means, it's not good.
my step son said "ain't" last night.
AIN'T.
he didn't even know it isn't a real word.
and his skank-fest of a mother thinks she's going to be an English teacher?
I've been snorting and rolling my eyes at that one since the day she said it.
but I digress.
I did explain to him that it's not a real word...
and I might have gotten a little colorful in my explanation of what types of people use that word...
"but all the kids at my school say it"
well they're all -------.
ugh.
I gotta watch myself.
I am not a racist,
or a sexist.
I am not a bigot...
except when it comes to education, I guess.
but I don't think that counts, because it's something that's available to everyone.
race can't be changed,
gender can't be--
oops, i guess it can...
anywho.
I think I'd rather be a bigamist than a bigot.
although it might get rather exhausting.

holy bizarre tangents, batman.
what the fuck is the matter with me???
maybe I should go back to Saturday morning hangovers??
such cloudy thoughts are harder to screw up.