I should write a post.
or post a Wright?
Saturday is the surprise party.
today is Thursday and hubby says, urgently, "we need a cake!"
(the surprisee's husband and i have been working vigorously on all the details, by the way.)
me, "Um...she doesn't like cake. She LOVES creme brulee, so I'm making that."
as if I would overlook THAT detail???
although, I have to say, I'm having a hard time dealing with the non-cake birthday idea.
anyway, it was funny.
I was thinking today...
yes, I know that's hazardous.
but don't worry--
it didn't last very long.
I was thinking about knowing people...
when you're first falling in love, how it is easy to be intoxicated,
because you only see little slivers of the person,
and catch glimpses--
and these are so beautiful that your heart races and your cheeks flush.
and I wonder if it's possible to still feel such excitement over someone you know every last inch of.
my husband is always threatening to put up a site "The Bored Housewife--Revealed"
in other words, I'm a boring old lump in real life.
nah, I'm pretty sparkly.
but i burp and fart and have stinky morning breath and bore the hell out of him sometimes--
cuz I can talk the hind leg off a dog.
(what a fucked up expression! who wants the hind leg of a dog??? "hm...if i keep talking, that sucker's bound to just fall right off, then i'll be golden!!" WT the Fuck F is that all about???)
I really can, though.
I'm a talker.
but that's hardly the point.
did I just say "hard"?
yes, I'm a 13 year old boy--
we've COVERED that.
...and frankly, I'm getting a little tired of explaining to my den mother why I'm always late to meetings, so if y'all could quit reading this crap, I could quit writing it.
okay, fine. now you KNOW i'm lying.
I could never quit writing.
it would be like cancelling my subscription to Us magazine.
it would be like...something else.
I keep trying to plan something cool for my husband's birthday, which is a week from tomorrow or the next day or something.
(fuck you--I know what DATE it is, I just forgot which day of the week it falls on this year. shit heads.)
I have a few ideas, but obviously I can't post them here.
I just keep forgetting to act on my ideas.
I need to set reminders, in Outlook.
actually, I tried that once, but it didn't work right.
so I gave up.
yup, I'm a real go-getter.
...why do you think I'm still a housewife???
I wouldn't want anyone else raising my kids.
oh, I know they would do a better job--it's not that.
I just feel it's my right to screw up my kids as much as possible before unleashing them on the world.
6 more months til school--it's crunch time.
nah, they are the most precious little nuglets you'd ever wanna strangle.
I was telling them about their birth the other day.
as I got the part about Oliver not breathing, Max leaned over...
(oh my GAWD it was so sweet!)
and said, "it's ok, mom, i love you anyway."
he sensed the gravity of it, I know he did.
my heart almost burst at his sweet little hug of reassurance.
or was that inferred blame?
that I didn't bring them into the world properly???
aw, shit, now i need therapy.
I have all sorts of cool new readers, and I'd like to take a moment to say hello to them.
but now that i've said that, it would sound silly to just say, "hello."
so i don't think i will.
I could say, "Bonjour, bienvenue."
Or I could just moon you guys.
wow, that's something I have'nt done in a while!!!
somehow, flipping the bird has replaced that ultimate act of sass.
besides the fact that I'm so preoccupied with sex that it would be more of a turn on than an insult.
ok, this post is going nowhere fast.
if i get inspired, i'll fantasize for ya.
if not, i won't.
(how's that for a figurative mooning???)