Thursday, October 21, 2004

it's still raining in this high desert

and i'm stil hungry.
i could go back, and add another 'l' to that word.
but i don't want to.
it took much more energy to type about it, rather than do it.
do i care?
i felt like copping a little attitude just then, that's what.
for no reason.
in fact, i've been sorta crotchety all evening.
also for no reason.
my husband said he loved me.
i said, "even when i'm ornery??"
he said, "especially when you're ornery."
i gave him a yeah-whatever laugh...
but he held out his arms and i smiled.
"it's're hot when your ornery."
i snuggled in.
he's the best husband i've ever had.

so my shoulders are killing me already.
i worked out hard today--it was great.
blah blah fucking BLAH.

is this what you come here for???
me, alternating between whining and bragging??
i don't think so.
and frankly, it's not why i come here.
i come here...
because i am in love.
with writing,
with reading,
with kind words of strangers.
i am in love with the sky and the moon and the mountains and the ocean
i am in love with my kids
i am in love with adventure and reckless abandon--
with driving fast, wind in my hair
i am in love with good conversation
i am in love with good food, good drink, and good friends,
i am in love with thongs--
with hot baths and cold showers...
i am in love with pleasure.
i am in love with being in love.

i am about to throw my kitty across the room, though.
she thinks that lying on my desk--half on my keyboard, half on my mouse--
is a good idea.
i disagree.

i need a beer.
that's the problem.
i need a frozen mudslide with too much whipped cream.
i need another 6 orgasms, to make an even dozen today.
i need someone to rip my nose ring out, because the hole is too tight to let the little knobby end thinger out and i'd like to change it...
i need someone to rub my shoudlers and tell me sweet lies (you're beautifulperfectamazingagoddessdestinedtowinanobelpeaceprize).
i need to figure out how to bestow self-confidence on others, like a fairy god mother.
i need to drop ten pounds before metallica so i can buy leather pants.
i need someone to show me how to wear makeup, for just such occassions.
i need to not get turned on by the voice of the first lady on the west wing...
and i can't believe i can't think of her name.
(i'm a huge grease fan.)
i need to find a cure for peanut allergy cuz it's just not american for my son to be missing out on reese's peanut butter cups.
i need to run away to moab with jasmine for the weekend.
and talk until our jaws hurt.
i need to run away to montana to see julie for the weekend.
and talk until our jaws hurt.

today while i was driving, i thought:
if i focus really hard...
i think i could leave my body and appear in a different location.
but i was driving, so i didn't want to risk it.

there are...
so many things i want to say sometimes,
but i can't.
there are...
so many times i want to do something--
i don't even know what, but i am flooded with the need to leap out of my seat and go, do, be, have.....

i am thrilled that the Red Sox are this close to being in the world series...
i am not a fan of professional sports.
but i LOVE baseball, the game.
and i love boston.
and i love underdogs.

i am fairly certain that i have rambled just to that point of "enough",
without crossing to "too much"...
hahahaha---that's funny.
it was definitely too much.
but i feel better, so thanks.

maybe an audio post soon.
even though i never have anything to say on them...
oh yeah!
i could read one of my fantasies...
have a happy thursday, wherever you are--

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