Friday, September 24, 2004

Fantasy wha---?

This should be interesting...
my kids woke me up almost two hours early today.
i tried to go back to sleep, but was unsuccessful.
while i was lying there, i remembered that i still needed to write this.
oh well.
i don't like sleeping anyway.

this started out as me writing MY fantasies.
I don't really do it that way anymore,
but i think i'll try it today.
here goes nothing--


if i could go back in time
it wouldn't be to save a life,
divert a war,
stop a plague.
it would be...
to a hotel room on Virginia Beach--spring, 1993.
i would slip back into my teenaged body, finding it unfamiliar--
so pure, so innocent, confining, restrictive.
i would take a few minutes to settle into her, smiling at the way it felt to be so young.
and then i would hear a knock at the door.
my heart would leap, realizing who it was.
the feelings of that girl i was would flood me and push me to the background.
HE would fill up all of my senses and nearly override any presence the adult me had in the situation.
seeing him would be such a shock, after so long.
for the girl, it had been several months, for the woman over eleven years.
opening the door in a rush, i would tumble into him--
pressed together fiercely

i can't finish this right now.
i'm too sad.
maybe i'll finish it later.
i'm sorry.

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