i feel like crap today. no idea why. i had a HALF a beer last night around 9, then i was up until about 2, but i got 6 hours of sleep, so i should be fine.....i had a good time though.

I am so sick of my life today. Big time fighting with husband--as usual, he got into a deep issue as i was walking out the door to go out with my friends last night. WHY??? I am so sick of this fight. i vote it's time for a new one. my head hurts. maybe that's why i feel all hung over and shitty.

Watching a little I love 1984 on VH1 Classic. aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...........gooood shit.

want to take a nap. must go to second family birthday party of the day. this time, without the help of my hubby. he's golfing. yawn. i really did just yawn, that's why i wrote that--it wasn't like a symbolic, meaningful thing.

i need to be in Maine. I need to be not in Utah. why don't certain husband types understand that? and no, in case enquiring minds want to know, that's not "the fight". Although that is certainly one that used to get a lot of air time. i met a woman from NJ yesterday who just moved here and we had the best talk about how bizarre this place is. it was comforting to be reminded that i'm not weird for thinking this place is a vacuous black hole sucking the life out of me drop by drop, day by day....

eeeeeeeeeeee! i just remembered my dearest friend A. got into town last night and is here for 2 months!!! life is not all bad, apparently. oh! i feel so much better now. she's so great. she reminds me that you can be a good person, a christian, and lots of fun--without being a gay-ass mormon. and her little brothers are hilarious so that's always fun. they're all total mama's boys and will probably never leave home--one of them got married but he lives two block from his mom. it's because she spoils them--but in a good way, mostly. she just takes REALLY good care of them--cooking, cleaning, etc. hell, i'd move in if i could!!! i freaking LOVE being taken care of like that...that's how my mom was...no wonder i am such a brat.

erg. time to go to the party. i'm supposed to take dinner rolls, but i forgot and i didn't get birthday presents for the two nephews whose birthdays are being celebrated. dammit. i'm supposed to be there in a half hour. gaaaaaaawwwddd why am i so stupid???? oh well.

p.s. weather's still dazzlingly gorgeous.