Thursday, June 12, 2003

The carnival went surprisingly well. the line to buy tickets was really long and the lines for the most popular kids rides were Disneyland long, but after a torture filled wait in line for the carousel (on which only one of the boys would sit, clinging to me from his horsetop perch while the other wouldn't even get on the horse but clung to me anyway...) we found a quiet little spot if really little kids rides where there was no line for one of them. the boys went to their little cars, about which they were a little trepidatious at first, but fell madly in love with almost immediately upon lift off. sweet max. Oh! He was smiling, so adorably, so full of utter joy and marvel. it just got inside me and made me bubble up with laughter as i shared his joy, and every time the ride brought him past me he smiled more and more, but as i laughed more and more, he then began trying not to smile, as a trick, i think, but then he became very serious indeed and wouldn't look up from his lap. it worried me, but he smiled when the ride stopped and asked to go again...and again and again--but each time he looked at his lap for the entire ride! it was really bizarre. of course, being dramatic and having taken two whole psychology classes in college...i was given to wondering if his sweet little self esteem was troubled by my laughing...did he think i was laughing AT him, rather than with him? sigh. since he continued to ask for more and more rides, i can only assume it was nothing serious, but sheesh. it made me feel so sad to think i made him even a little self concious or uncomfortable or something. yes, i feel things, people. i feel things that some people have never even heard of. and oliver was pretty funny, too. he kept asking to get off, during the time between getting buckled into the car and the ride actually starting but as soon as it started, he was okay. thank goodness. i seriously thought there was going to be a scene of some variety tonight...a variety show? huh?

i mentioned a while back that i'm reading A Confederacy of Dunces, and stated at such time that i would give a further review upon my completion. Well, i haven't finished it yet, oddly enough, because i absolutely adore it and i usually cruise through a book in 2 days if i like it. Anyway. read it. that's all there is to say. it will amaze and astound you as a masterpiece of comic writing.

speaking of amazing and astounding...i'm amazed and astounded that life has turned out so differently from how i imagined. where are all the rainbows and unicorns, dammit? ack.

i my goodness! i said the funniest thing last week during an argument with the Mr. it was great! I was saying, "You've been as pissy as a--" and in that brief moment as i realized i didn't have anything planned to follow that, this word slipped out of my mouth:"--urinal!" it was pretty damn funny at the moment. sort of broke the tension, but not enough.......ugh. sorry to keep whining about this.

i made crepes for the first time about an hour ago and they came out fantastical, and it was easier than i thought it would be--either that or i'm just an amazing and astounding chef. (yes, those are the words of the day, use them as much as possible or you won't get your money's worth!!) so, of course i ate too many, but the problem isn't so much the calories (why do you think i go to the gym? so i can eat whatever the fuck i want) as the sugar. my stupid little fast track to type 2 diabetes body can't handle it. whiney little bitch. better go eat some protein to even things out.

speaking of food composition...I tried Michelob Ultra the other day--surprisingly gooooooooooood shit. that's cool. it's low carb. not that i'm really a low carb type, but i try to vaguely be aware of making positive choices concerning my simple carbohydrate consumption. i go for the complex, dontcha know. and i eat protein like there's no tomorrow....which is not as funny as when my friend, B. said, "Guys are dumping me like i'm going out of style!...err...." kay, maybe you had to be there, but deal with it.

time to decide between growing out my hair again, or getting it cut. it grows so damn fast i don't know if i'll be able to stand keeping it short for very long, besides the fact that i love my hair long. BUT i really loved the haircut i got about 6 weeks ago, even if it did grow out in 2 weeks...i kept hoping i could convince it to behave, but i couldn't. so the question is: do i go to the salon every 3 weeks (i figure she can take it just a bit shorter and it'll last a bit longer) as well as spending the extra time "doing" my hair and dealing with product and hair dryers....blah! or do i just let it grow out and continue looking exactly the same as i have for the past 8, 9, 10? years. i don't know why i'm even talking about this, because i know i'm going to get it cut again. i'm sick of it being short but not cute, because at least when i get it cut it will kick ass for a couple of weeks. life is so complicated when you're a bored housewife..................

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