Why do I think it's a good idea to blog with a hangover?

I mean really.
I'm such a spaz.
or dumbass.
whatever.
and, please, could someone answer me one more question?
why the fuck am I NOT in my bed?
erg.

karaoke was fun, though.
and I have phone calls to return.
I almost went to montana with the mr. on a business trip,
so i called my childhood best friend to see how close she lives to the city he's going to.
turns out, tickets are way too much at the last minute, and she's going to be out of town anyway.

I really think that last paragraph was the worst group of sentences I've ever posted here.
and that's saying a LOT.
I've written a few brief emails and comments that I wish I could have borrowed someone else's brain to write, but other than that ,I'm cool.
I think.
it's possible I fell asleep at the wheel this morning driving home, and I'm dead and this is all a dream...
but not likely.
we met the coolest chicks last night.
one chick and her boyfriend,
one chick and her...uh, self.
they were very cool.
and I am redundantalizing the shit out of this train of thought.
I need some good food.
but I'm too fucked up to figure out how to prepare any,
and too blaaaaaaaaaahgy to go get some.
and.
too.
other stuff.

If you're in Denver, could you tell my husband to skip the PGA thing, and just come home?
yes, I realize that anyone who's reading this and is currently in Denver, has no way of contacting my semi-anonymous husband (no, that's not code for imaginary, sorry),
and I also realize that my phone is less than 6 inches from my hand,
but jesus, people, help a hungover girl out, wouldja??

I love water parks.
I love water parks when I don't have small children with me.
I love water parks when you don't plunge into water so hard you get it up your nose.
I love water parks even when you do plunge into water so hard you get your entire swimsuit crammed up your ass--yes, the ENTIRE thing.
I love water parks because I can obsess over tits...
do you have any idea how much plastic surgery goes on here???
I bet we're second only to California.
hey, I'm not entirely bagging it, cuz a tummy tuck has moved into place above "getting a new car" on my list of must haves, but I can still be cunty about people with fake boobs....right?
well, unless I know them, then it's cool.
christ, I"m evil.
favorite south park ever:
stuttering kid, to love interest: y-y-y-you're a-a-a-a cunt-cunt-cunt-cunt-
(girl walks off)
stuttering kid to thin air: -inuing source of inspiration.
do I even need to tell you that my husband's and my favorite thing to say when we're pretending to be mad is "you're such a continuing source of inspiration!!"
childish???
US???
bah.
never.
we do have fun, though...
(smiling dopily at the thought that he'll be home in a few hours...barring any fluke PGA tickets being thrown his way.)

did I mention I had sooo much fun at the water park?
I think I mighta.
It was a girls' day--
and we loved it.
Becky and I both have boys, so it's fun to hang out with little-ish girls sometimes.
especially cool ones.

ok.
my bed is calling to me--