Even though I'm super late....

I should have been at the gym already...
but I couldn't bear the thought of that whiney-ass post staying at the top for any longer!!

Instead, all I've got is a dream about Tommy Lee--
surprise, surprise,
and a tale I won't tell of sweet and quick morning sex.
quick is how I like it, by the way-
because I never, ever get have that.
quick means under an hour...
and it was very very nice.
just right.

also, our neighbor is a huge, pulsating bitch.
and I'm sure she is destined to continue chaffing my soft, white ass for the rest of the time we live here.
I don't doubt it'll get worse.
apparently one of our sprinkler heads is pointed at her fence, to get the grass that is next to her damn fence.
she is claiming that it hits the side of her house, including a rain gutter and into one of her window wells.
we've turned it on and checked.
it's not.
so the wind must be blowing it or something, if it is, in fact hitting her house.
we adjusted it, so that it doesn't even touch her fence,
but I'm sure the wind will still have its way from time to time,
and we'll get another angry visit.
she's a fucking uptight moron.
it's WATER.
it's not going to damage your damned stucco.
it RAINS HERE.
for much longer, and much harder than a few minutes of a sprinkler which is placed so far from her house that it's only the very tips of the spray that could hit it.
she's one of those people who can never be satisfied--
if we didn't have sprinklers, she would be mad that our grass never looked good,
just like when she yelled at my husband for getting grass clippings in her side of the fence...
okaaaaaaaaaaaaay, but if we didn't mow, you'd be mad, too, so FUCK right OFF, bitch!
ahem.
I feel better now...

but, I do have two kids for sale.
they are driving me...crazier than I already am!!!
I guess that means I should get off my ass (which, frankly, could stand to be a little bigger to offset the gut) and get on with my day.
gym, fabric store, grocery store.
uhboy, this should be fun.

I need...

ok, fine, I'll post a picture.
I'm not braless, and I might have posted it before, but suck it up.
I'm not your stepping stone,
I'm not your beast of burden,
I'm not your mama.
...huh?