Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The ABCs of Sucky things--

ok, I'm not doing the whole alphabet,
and you can all guess that I'm too lazy to even attempt an alphabetical format,
but here's my list:

didn't get to go to Jack Johnson last night.
why?
well, thanks for asking, lemme just tell you--
since we didn't have a babysitter yet on sunday night,
when there were still tickets available, we didn't buy them.
yesterday, when we still didn't have a babysitter,
hubby said I should just go with our friends.
sold out.
we figured I could get one from a scalper, but...
the way the afternoon bled (tumbled?) into evening sort of negated that.
he offered, but there was never a chance to finalize the discussion,
and when it was time for me to go,
he was gone (taking his son home).
I think the true culprit was my PMS, but whatever.
I sulked.
then, just as hubby got back, I somehow managed to open a cupboard into my FACE.
just as the tears of disappointment and "ouch" started to roll, the front door opened,
startling me out of my reverie of sadness.
hubby had some HILARIOUS news to report, immediately,
which was a very difficult gear shift for me,
but I made it.
holy christ in a bubble bath--
that's some good shit.
I can't say who, but someone he knows actually

hired...

a....


HOOKER.

we were astounded and giggling.
I was, frankly, repulsed.
I'm pretty open, in general, but--
A PROSTITUTE???
he's a great looking guy, very smooth with the ladies:
has no trouble getting laid the old-fashioned way.
but apparently this was a new frontier for him.
whatever.
I sort of hated him anyway, since he used his own broken heart to break mine.
(just to clarify, he got divorced and turned his wife against me for no apparent reason)
anyway, I guess that should be filed under the good kind of "Sucky", right?

Ok, so next on the list of suckiness:
not only--
NOT ONLY!!!!
am I being denied hot contractors to drool over/flirt with on this whole "finishing the basement" project, but.
but.
this morning a hot
blonde
WOMAN
showed up.
grrrrrrrr.
hubby answered the door.
"I'm here to work on the basement."
I could hear his excitement as he fumbled over "oh, you're not what I would have expected..."
double grrrrrr.
NOT FAIR.
time to pout again.
I mean, christ!!!!
I should have some eye candy, too!!!
that's only fair!
and with my luck, my god damn History of Rock n Roll class will be devoid of any drool material, too.
c'mon guys--
help a girl out!!!
give me fuel, give me fire,
give me that which I desire:
your handsomeness to look at!
every one of you, post a picture of your smiling selves today--
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.....
oh, and for anyone ('s grandma) who's wondering?
what's good for the goose is most assuredly NOT god for the fucking gander!!!
m'kay?
got it???
good.

bah.
someday I'll find the perfect combination of rat poison and Comet cleanser to make the PMS fairy stay away for good.
but for now, I'll just have to live with her.
which means you get posts like this.
sorry...
eh, scroll down if you're dissatisfied.
aaaaah...much better.
right?
have a happy wednesday.

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